Long story, TLDR at the bottom.

I sacrificed everything for him. I brought us a house, was the primary breadwinner and paid most the bills. I used my connections and got him a job at my company (he was qualified for) making twice what he made annually at the shitty state job he was working for. I always took the lead and all the stress that comes with trying to figure out adult life while he worked on getting his shit together.

Meanwhile our sex life died. Before I started dating him I had an EXTEMELY active sex life- often multiple hookups a day. He was bottom/vers, and I was vers. As time went on he never wanted to douche, stopped showering as much, went out of his way to be gross in my presence by farting non stop or wearing dirty clothes that smelled. I communicated over and over again that these things were major turnoffs and barriers to intimacy for me. He treated that like a joke or that I was being “dramatic” and kept doing it anyways.

Things got worse after his sister moved in to escape a domestic violence situation during Covid lockdown. Suddenly I was the 3rd wheel in my own relationship. They talked and did everything together. She was a fucking mess. Never cleaned up after herself, loud, rude and destructive. I was a neat freak so I ended up feeling like a servant cleaning up after both of them. I was also under an extreme amount of work stress at the time.

I tried talking to her as an adult but she didn’t take anything I said seriously (noticing a trend with his family), and when I brought it up with my husband he would just make excuses or say he didn’t want to anger her. I have an extremely bad temper I had to learn to manage- but because of that I now tend to be non-confrontational more than I need to be, because I often go to hard when I lose my temper. Eventually after months of failed attempts to handle things like adults, I had to give my husband the ultimatum of she goes or I end things. She was gone within weeks, but the damage to our relationship had been permanently done.

A few months later we went on a vacation with his immediate family to a resort. I wasn’t happy. I was still dealing with the bad taste of what went down between my husband, his sister and I during Covid. I was in a bad place mentally and felt abandoned by my husband when I needed him most and still wanted to repair our relationship. But before we could i was now forced to spend time with his sister while on vacation. It turned into the same bullshit I thought I had escaped. My husband was firmly up her ass the entire time, ignored me about anything i wanted to do or see, because he was more focused on placating his sister who had a migraine and was being her usual miserable bitch self to everyone.

I was angry, miserable, and worst of all so sexually starved that I saw no point in trying to make things work. I downloaded Grindr, and within an hour got messaged by a handsome Brazilian guy who also was a worker at the resort we were staying at. I didn’t hesitate and accepted his offer to blow him. I couldn’t host in my hotel room, so he said he would unlock a vacant room for us. I can still remember how hard my heart was pounding as I walked to the room.

The Grindr guy arrived about the same time I did, and let us both in. He had take a piss so I asked if I could watch him pee. I had been starved sexually, but I was also starved of any masculinity in my life since my husband was increasingly more feminine and lacking of any sexuality outside of joking about sex.

I got so fucking hot watching his thick uncut brown dick pee that I immediately got on my knees and started sucking him off before he had the chance to shake his dick dry. He got hard super quick and started to gently fuck my mouth while holding my head. For the first time in years I felt “whole”, felt like a human being, felt “happy”. He fucked my face some more while my hands explored his body, and shot the first load I had swallowed in over 4 years down my throat. We tried hooking up again before my vacation was over but I couldn’t get away long enough. Swallowing that guys load was the best part of that shitty vacation.

After we returned home from vacation I vowed I would never give up my own happiness and sexual needs for anyone else, ever again. I’ve kept that promise as well. I can’t divorce, at least not until things improve for me financially, but I stopped putting up with bullshit in the relationship. I now make my husband pay half the bills and do half the house work. I tried again to improve our sex life but gave up- especially after he admitted to using sex for security in previous relationship.

I have never once stopped cheating since that vacation a year ago. I’ve been way happier, mental health is better, and I got motivated to start bodybuilding the way I used to before I met my husband. I’ve also been having some of the best sex of my adult life since last year, the highlight being sucking and getting bred by more than 15 different guys in one week while my husband was away visiting family 😁

TLDR: my husband is a weak, sexless, alcoholic loser bottom who would rather hang out with women, so I made him a cuck and I swallow or take as many loads up my ass behind his back when I can, since that’s the only time I have anything remotely masculine in my life these days. Probably gonna go to one of the local gay cruising hotspots after work today and swallow a few more loads.