I first met Philip at a game night at my friend's house two years ago back in 2020. My friend, Rayna, invited him over in an attempt to get to know him better and see if he might be interested in her. He had a nice smile and handsome features that made me curious about him. He did not strike me as out right "gay" but I didn't get the feeling he was "100% straight" either. With Rayna being interested in him, I pushed the idea to get closer to him out of my mind and enjoyed the company of friends throughout the night. While they sat next to one another, Philip treated her with polite regards, but did not seem to show any further sexual interest.

Eventually we hit a break in the games and I got up from the dinning table and headed over to the kitchen island where all the chips and dip were. Philip seemed to have the same idea as he took a seat on one of the island stools beside me. Being liquored up and blunt in nature, I inquired to him about his sexual orientation. He replied he was in the early stages of questioning his orientation, but had had extreme experiences with a guy. I began to inquire how he felt about my hands touching him, arms, chest, leg, even bolding touching his chest hair. Eventually, I mustered up the drunken idea to lean into his 6' 2" frame (me being 5' 10") and attempt to give him a kiss. He turned his head and I hit his bearded face. He stated he wasn't ready for that kind of experience and I completely respected his response. He didn't treat me any differently throughout the night and I didn't think much more of the event, figuring I had over stepped in my drunken state of mind while also thinking he probably also was just not interested in me that way. Due to where we were both at in our sexual orientation journey (with me being out for the past 10 years of my life), I decided to keep my distance from Philip and keep him as a friend.

Throughout the year, I continued to see him a handful of times at trivia nights. Interactions were pleasant and friendly, but nothing more. During one trivia night, I invited Rayna out to come rock climb with me. Surprisingly, Philip chimed in and showed interest in climbing has he had never been before. I welcomed the opportunity to climb with new people, but wasn't sure if he'd actually show up to climb since he was a busy guy and we weren't that close of friends for him to make the time. Unsurprisingly, months had passed since our conversation until we finally touched base again and reminded the other of the interest in climbing together. We finally met up to climb in December of 2021. We chatted some more about his curiosity and I offered my support as a friend if he ever wanted to converse or just have someone who identified as gay to talk about experiences and my own journey with it. When the night concluded, he informed me he would be flying out of state back home for a few weeks and would reach out to me when he returned to continue climbing since he enjoyed the work out and challenge. With the ball was in his court to reach out to me, I let him slip out of my mind under the impression he'd reach out again. I wanted to truly see if he would put in effort to hang again.

Fast-forward to April 2022, Rayna wanted to hit the gay clubs after newly discovering she wanted to explore her bi side. She had had enough interaction with Philip to stop trying to gain his attention and purse him as a romantic option. She had her impressions of him being a little bi, but he never did act upon it or talk about it. I understood how she felt as when around him, it felt as if he pushed down any sexual thought and saw past you as a person without giving any attention to your appearance or physicality. At this point, it has been 3-4 month since I had seen or heard from him. It was to my surprise that Rayna invited him out to the clubs with us. I was skeptical he'd actually come out, but to astonishment he came out with his Sam who he had gone to college with.

Throughout the night, I had minimal interactions with Philip, not intentionally, but because him and Rayna were engrossed in conversation or he was interacting with Sam. After having three drinks at the bar, we make our way to a club. I don't recall why this, Philip mentioned he was on tinder and saw my partner on it. This later clicked in my mind that Philip was actually swiping on girls AND guys (something I had forgotten he was going through). He mentioned he wasn't doing anything actively with the profile or meeting people, but it was a step in the direction of exploration.

Once at the club, we each got an AMF (Adios Mother F**ker) and made our way to the dance floor. Philip was enthusiastically into dancing which astounded all of us (except Sam who had already seen how energetic Philip was when it came to dancing). I ended up talking to Sam a bit more and discovered he was straight, but an ally in support of Philip on his "rainbow journey". I was surprised Philip had mentioned this to Sam since I figured it was something he wasn't too keen on sharing or really putting effort into. The night went on and Philip began to dance closer and closer to other people such as Rayna and other strangers around.

It was nice to see him be so free. He looked like a straight man dancing right out of the closet. Rayna ended up dancing with another girl while my partner took a seat to rest and Sam had slipped away again, probably to grab another beer. Philip comes over to me as I shuffle along with my poor dancing skills and begins to move his body closer and closer to me. Sweat is glistening across his face and drenching his shirt. His blue eyes look down at me with a cute smile across his face.

With my flirty nature, I tell him, "You look very kissable right now."

"Maybe we should," Philip replies as he leans in to kiss me.

Our tongues locked and entwined with one another. My hand clasped the back of his head, pushing his mouth deeper into mine. The moment was surreal and completely unexpected. We let go of one another and stare at one another. He smiles at me while I chuckle back at him.

Apparently one make out session wasn't enough as we find ourselves making out a second time, this time with his hands exploring my body for the first time. He traces his fingers down my bare arms and ventures down to my ass, resting them there while squeezing. My hand finds its way back to the back of his head as my other hand explores the inside of his pants to hold his junk in my hand as he sports a semi. This make out session was passionate and raw with more intensity than the first and more physical touch. We finally release each other from the embrace, still dazed by the intensity of the moment.

"Was that your first time kissing a guy?" I ask.

"It was." Philip responds.

"How did you like it?"

"I'm not sure, it wasn't bad. I just don't know how I feel about it yet."

I chuckle as I lean in this time to give him a kiss, surprisingly he turns his head just like the first time I tried to kiss him two years ago.

"Are you seriously turning your head right after we just made out?" I said irked, placing both of my hands on either side of his head and giving him a kiss on the lips.

"Not so bad right?" I inquire.

"Not so bad," Philip replies much more relaxed.

I smile and give him another kiss on the lips without him flitching away.

We resumed dancing for a bit longer, but needing to catch the tram home, we all concluded the night and took our seats in the tram once it arrived. I was hoping to catch a seat next to Philip, but Philip ended up sitting next to the window with Sam to his left, my partner sat behind Philip with Rayna to his left, and me sitting alone to the left of Rayna.

During the ride, (as my partner tells me later that night), Philip had reached his hand through the crack between the window and seat to place his hand upon my partner's thigh. My partner shifted and put his head against the back of Philip's seat (being tired and drunk). Philip began stroking the back of his head as he smiled and eventually caught my eye. I smiled back at him, happy to see him touching another guy for the first time (it appeared) in his life in a romantic way.