I wanna start off by saying I’m a trans guy idk if I’m welcomed here, & this might be a stupid post I just really need some advice on this. For the last 4 years I have been living with my homophobic dad, I do wanna say he no longer lives with me anymore but while he was living with me & my grandma he would get violent with me from time to time due to the fact that I’m attracted to men, I’m not even gay or at least I don’t think I am but I do have a huge preference for men & the second I started medical transitioning & being seen as a male he started to become extremely violent & homophobic towards me telling me since I wanna be his son so bad he was going treat me like that & that I couldn’t be attracted to men if I was going be his son & I tried really hard to stop my attraction towards men for a while, I tried not to think about other men, romantically & sexually but obviously it doesn’t just work like that. One day I was at the store with my dad & ig he didn’t like the fact that I was staring at this other guy for a little too long & he waited until we got into his car to punch me & slam my head against the window & told me to never do the f slur shit again in front of people in public & when I'm with him & that’s just one incident out of probably like 20 so yeah I have some internalized homophobia to work through & I would like some advice on how I can deal with that. I would also like to chat more in messages about this cuz honestly there’s more to it, my dad has done some fucked up things to me in the last few years