As some of you know, I contribute to a weekly blog where I offer tips pertaining to male sexuality. Specifically M4M gay sex topics, relationship issues/concerns, men's health issues, etc. My ramblings all come from the viewpoint of a fellow sex positive sub bottom. I received lots of positive feedback from you all on my last share, so I figured I'd share the latest piece I recently wrote:

I often see guys online ask "how do I bottom without feeling pain?" or "why does it hurt when I have anal sex?" Full disclaimer: I'm no doctor, and I doubt anybody could diagnose your issues without knowing more information. So, while there is no way to know for certain WHY it hurts and why it doesn't feel as pleasurable as it should... there are many things you -- the bottoming partner -- can do to problem solve and perhaps remedy the issue. Here is my top list of 6 potential reasons that lead to discomfort during anal sex, along with tips to overcome the potential issues:

1. You're body is tense. 😩 This may sound like a simple answer, but don't underestimate the power of not being in the right headspace for anal sex. Unlike tops, who can fuck at pretty much any time as long as their dick works properly, bottoms need to be in the zone for taking dick or it won't feel good. I bet many of you can relate to this: those times when sex has felt more like a chore... something you want to "endure" to make your top(s) orgasm as quickly as possible so that you can be done with it. And sometimes it probably confuses you because you "felt" horny. So why did it not feel as good as past encounters? My bet is your body was too tense. This happens often if you've had a stressful day. If you've recently been annoyed by something or felt rushed in your day to day life. It can also happen when the sex needs to be quick due to one or both of you having somewhere else to be. For a top, many use sex to relieve the stresses of the day. To get rid of the aggression of the day's annoyances. By and large, bottoms just do not work that way. We will feel something is off... and that's because our muscles have a mind of their own, and do not care what our brains and and even our sex organs want. So, what to do? I'll give a few tips further down!
2. You skipped or rushed through foreplay. ️🏃💨 Many people associate the need for foreplay to be a woman's need as their "horny-ness" doesn't often come from simply a visual such as a hard cock. Meanwhile, men on the other hand are highly visual creatures. We can get hard and wet just seeing a hot guy on the beach or a picture/video while aimlessly scrolling the internet. That's all great for top men who just want their friend down below to get rock hard for fucking or jerking off... but if you're planning to bottom, you need to open that hole up, regardless of if it's begging for the real deal right then and there. This is even more true if the partner(s) who will be inside of you are well endowed. Enter toys into the conversation! Every bottom should have at least 2-4 dildos of varying sizes to use to prepare for the actual thing. I have 6 or 7 myself along with various sized plugs. Whether solo or with other partners, I like to begin with the smaller toys and work my way up until I'm satisfied with how opened up my hole is... meaning I then feel ready for more intense pounding. This "teasing" of your hole is what I mean by foreplay for bottoms.
3. You're using the wrong lube or not enough. 🌵😬 I don't think I need to tell most of you how important lubing up both the object going inside of you and also lubing up your hole is. If you've bottomed even once, you know lube of some kind is needed unless you have some superhuman power. That said - not all lube is equal. I have personally used lube that burned when inside of me. Talk about a mood killer! I had to tell my top to stop because it was unbearable and not at all fun. To this day, I have no idea what the ingredient is in that particular lube that bothers me, but after trying it twice... it's definitely the lube causing the irritation. Find the lube that best works for your body is largely trial and error. What one guy raves about, you could hate. In general though, look for the more expensive stuff as it tends to be higher quality (for the most part). I personally prefer silicone lube and CBD infused lube (Fort Troff makes a great product). Be sure to read the reviews online to see what other bottoms think.
4. You're getting fucked in the wrong position. 🚫 This might sound blunt, but it's true. Not every guy is able to take dick from every position — despite what porn actors would have you believe! As for which position feels best to bottom? Assuming you're otherwise healthy, those ideal positions will depend on your individual "plumbing" and also the shape and size of the guy who is penetrating you. You'll need to find what works best for you... again, trial and error, like all the great bottom boys who came before you!
5. Your top(s) isn't taking their time. 🚦 This is purely personal opinion, but the best sex should feel more like a marathon than a quick sprint, especially where bottoming is concerned. I've been with a few guys in the nearly 20 years that I've been having sex where they thought they could ram it right in. Umm... no! Or they are in a hurry and are trying to bust as quick as possible. Not only do I find this kind of sex less and less appealing as I get deeper into my 30s, but it just doesn't often feel good for most of us bottoms. Rhythm is also important for preventing pain while bottoming. If a top guy has no rhythm, it can feel like a stabbing sensation inside your gut rather than a smooth and consistent massage.
6. You have a medical condition. 🚑 If you find yourself exhausting every option for correcting the pain you associate with anal sex, it's very possible something could be going on with your body internally that require medical attention. It could be something as simple as a hemorrhoid (most people of all backgrounds get these at some point in their life) or it could be something more serious. Either way, if it's a medical issue... simply buying fancy lube or more toys isn't going to necessarily help the situation. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor or to even ask for a screening of your rectum/colon/intestines.

Okay, so now that you have these items to check off the list. Let's say your reply is something like this:

"Help, I've gone over all those tips, my doctor says I'm healthy, and I'm STILL feeling discomfort when getting railed... does this mean I'm destined to be a failure as a bottom?!"

Well... I've got good news for you. There is still hope for you yet! 😉 Tip numbers 2-5 are fairly easy to remedy. So let's focus on tip number 1 and 6. Even the most experienced bottom can't control if the muscles in his love zone refuse to calm down. Likewise, we can't always control our headspace. Sometimes we need assistance. This also applies for *certain* medical conditions. So what's a boy to do?? Well, there are several options. I will start with the one I personally prefer above all else AKA the safest.

1. CBD/THC lube: I briefly touched on this earlier, but basically, there is a wide range of products on the market that cater to making anal sex much easier. Many of the better ones now come infused with CBD of varying strengths. And if you want to take it further, there are also THC "weed lubes" that are all but certain to relax that hole while giving you a slight high or buzz.
2. CBD/THC liquids (think vaping) & Cannabis: I understand this isn't going to be for everyone. It may be illegal where you live, or maybe it's legal but your job may frown upon you testing positive for THC ("weed"). If this isn't an option for you, disregard. For the rest of you, I am here to say that a few puffs from a CBD/THC vape will not only put you in a potentially amazing headspace, but it will also take away much of the discomfort experienced from *certain* medical conditions and also general pain from taking larger "objects" or during longer play sessions. I'll be honest... I'm not a regular pot smoker nor do I want to lay around all day, I have stuff to do! But when I take a few hits from my favorite vape cart, I turn into a total slut who can take dick all night long. It really allows me to push through and is especially helpful for group play and longer lasting one-on-one play too.
3. Poppers: Poppers is last, only because they are more controversial, can harm some people (especially those with pre-existing medical conditions), and in many areas are illegal to sell as sex aids of any kind. That said, sniffing of poppers will not show up on drug tests should you be worried about that, and most *probably* won't harm you if used in moderation. Also, I'm not one to "yuck" anyone's "yum" and on occasion - I do enjoy a few hits from these bottled magic potions. Again - the main reason a bottom would use poppers is they loosen you up, allow you to take dick much longer (similar to the CBD/THC products mentioned) and they also send you into a short but amazing headspace, leaving you horny as ever. But use at your own risk, listen to your body, and keep moderation in mind, like with any other vice in life.

I hope these tips and suggestions help even one or two of you fellow bottom bros out there looking for relief and for sex to feel as amazing as it was meant to feel, while also taking your bottoming skills to the next level. If anyone has additional tips or tricks, feel free to add them in the comments section!