I live in nyc and I get free therapy/healthcare through this place for lgbtqia individuals. I like the healthcare and it’s honestly for great trans guys like myself. My issue is the therapy.

Before moving to nyc, I had been in therapy for 4 years with a different person that was in my state. It was great, it helped me a lot especially with family problems and trauma. I started going to this therapist here in nyc in January.

My therapist is….interesting. They are very blunt and honest, which I like, but also I don’t think it’s helping me, I think it’s making me feel worse. I recently had some pretty big life changes including a breakup from a relationship I was in for two years. It’s almost been two months since the breakup and I decided to start hooking up again since I am now single. I have a really high sex drive and, like almost every gay dude, I like hooking up with guys. I don’t really need to explain why.

So, I told my therapist that I met this guy via hookup and we actually are becoming good friends and have been hanging out a lot. So, they start by asking me do I think the hookups are helping me. I said I don’t know, I don’t see anything wrong with it. They then decide to go into a whole thing about how since the breakup was only two months ago, I should be celibate for at least six months and went into a rant about how hookups are bad and essentially shamed me for it then right afterwards said “I’m not judging you for what you do.”

They’ve done this before. I feel like shit after every appointment, like no matter what decision I make, it’s wrong. At the last appointment, they went on a rant about how I need to get off my parents health insurance so that I can get on Medicaid and when I told them I don’t think it’s a good idea, they shamed me for it and then said they weren’t shaming me.

There’s so much more I can go into, but todays appointment just really pissed me off. Why am I being lectured about this? Celibacy?! What?!