I posted a bit ago on this subreddit about how my hearts broken cause the guy I’ve loved for almost two years and lived with, broke up with me. I’ve been doing okay. I talked to him over the phone a week ago and he straight up told me has just doesn’t love me anymore and that he DID care about me and enjoyed our time together, that he doesn’t regret our relationship. This is easy for him to say cause he got the “good side” of things.

He had this friend, girl with brown hair. They were pretty close friends in a sense where they’d ask each other for advice and such, as friends do. They also worked out together. I got anxious sometimes and asked him once “jokingly” if he was cheating on me with her, he laughed it off cause this was his friend and she was years older than him.

So, we broke up, it’s fucking depressing on my end, but like I said, I’m doing alright. Yesterday I saw on his Twitter that he liked a BUNCH of her tweets, which he never did anything like that. Also, my friends/family think that he cheated on me or was in love with someone else because the break up did come out of nowhere. When I left, he was BALLING his eyes out, saying that half of him wishes we could be together, but like I said, that phone call we had about two weeks after the break up, he told me he moved on and I need to do so as well, that he doesn’t love me anymore.

I couldn’t sleep last night, the thought of him breaking up with me just to be with someone else hurts so bad. I don’t know why, but the thought that makes my blood boil is that it’s…a girl. I don’t know why and it bothers me even more cause idk maybe I have internalized sexism or something, I don’t know, but it fucking breaks me.

My ex and I had a cat together, so like the divorced parent I am, I visit the cat every week when my ex isn’t home, with his permission. My ex still follows me on social media too. I’m sorry if this is all over the place, but that’s where my brain is at right now.