So im about to to turn 27 and I'm starting to feel like a grown ass man because i'm starting to look like a grown ass man. My skin texture and my face shape have changed. My body has changed and im nno longer that twink every body drooled over. Now this might seem so stupid but i think this happens to a lot of people actually.

I get told that I look good and that i'm attractive. But i dont really see it most of the times and on apps like grindr or tinder people dont really seem interested in me. Every morning after i wake up i look so fucking tired, i look swollen and just have this tired look on my face. My hairline is receding and my hair getting thinner each year. And now trying to look good requires so many steps. I have to use retinols and sunscreen and sleep 8-9 hours daily, and eat the right macross at scheduled times, and have no stress, and workout at least 5 times a week, get botox, treat my acne scars, and have the right haircut, and and exfoliate, and use minoxidil and finasteride, and acting happy around coworkers and family and friends, and work hard so i can have enough money to live the life that i want, and so much shit. All of that while battling my inner demons and dealing with a shitty mental health and also having shitty sleep almost every day.

I'm just fucking done. I know i will never stop trying to look better because i like to feel like i have some kind of control over that but it is still so draining. I'm so tired of this life, and i'm so tired of having to fit into some mold to be liked by men and by society. I hate myself for feeling like i'm rejecting the outer shell life has given me and for wanting it to change. I'm just so tired of everything. I just want to be held and be liked for who I am on the inside. The last relationships that i had made me feel like I was an object, that i was liked for my body or something like that. They demanded sex from me when i just wanted to cuddle. I'm just so done with this.