I am looking for "post pandemic" advice. I've lived in various cities and am planning next steps.

Locations

Issues with NY: most guys are taken (typically because it is so expensive and lonely here) therefore only looking to hookup, uninterested in building anything with you / dating etc, very focused on their career or current friend circle with no room to expand / very cliquey, the 2-3/10's think they are 11/10's and behave this way, everyone is always looking for something else etc. Friendships are also extremely hard to form and maintain.

Issues with SF/Cali: genuinely too expensive, couldn't really find 'my type of guy' (looks or personality wise) and really didn't like the vibe overall there.

Issue with London / Europe: I generally found it quite racist vs the US in general, although this was pre-pandemic (I am mixed, not African though) and am well received in the US so ideally will stay here. Financially, I am better off in the US for the next 5-10 years, then I was considering Spain or something once I have enough money saved.

Me

Finances/career: I was looking at flat prices in Chicago vs NY (in gay neighbourhoods) and it seems like if I just moved, I could basically own a nice home and earn practically the same salary as I get in NY. Taxes are better in Chicago too vs NY so I would be better off and puts me in a nice financial position to use the other money I have to travel and explore other things. Buying in NY seems impossible so I will rent if I stay here. Getting a well paid job there will not be an issue.

Personality: I think I'm just too "nice" and "straightforward" for a long term city life. I want to cozy up with a man and take care of him and have a connection and I don't think I'm going to find this in a city. At the very least, I still want to hookup with hot guys (I am muscled/'hot' myself) so need enough 'supply' (lol) and Chicago looks like a sweet spot for this? I am also approaching my mid 30s and kinda want 'more' from life socially, not just work.

Guys/hooking up: when I review my hookup history, the only guys who came back / remain connected / made effort were *non city* guys. Funnily enough, the 'corn fed Chicago guy' or 'San Diego texas transplant' type of guy seems to be attracted to me the most. So I'm wondering if instead of them coming to me, I should go to them?

Any advice is welcome, especially anyone who has lived in multiple places etc. I am planning for a summer move next year at the earliest.

Edit: how about Texas? Florida?