Hello Sirs and Daddies, and curious subs xx

I'm 30, based in Essex UK, and a hopeless fagboi trapped in a cage of everyday life

Porn worship, sniffies, and thoughts of cock take up all my free time. I was a physicist once, with degrees in both maths and physics, but my mind won't let that continue. Even reading a book is beyond me, there's little focus left for anything non sexual,

Instead, driving home from work for a year I found myself spending longer and longer kneeling in a well known gay hookup spot, a public toilets, waiting for an abusive cock to find me. I got my wish and then some, but the location closed and now I'm always on the look out for my next grotty worship space.

I met and submitted to a wonderful Daddy about a decade ago but it didn't last, and that feeling being owned stays with you. I'm always seeking it, whether by being on cam4 being watched by God knows who, or spending as long as I can deepthroating a dildo to make myself better, or being given corner time so my mind can switch off as daddy gets on with things in the background, or typing/reciting my mantras again and again:

"I suck, swallow, and repeat. I will learn to be good fuck meat."

Submission and its joys come in all forms.

But what I really want is for everything else to end. I want to live in a small, uncomfortable flat, no job or social life, never knowing when a group of men will come through the unlockable front door to use me then leave. I want to know that my daddy/pimp cares for me, and for that reason will never let me be free of a life as a whore.

I'm sure that's all a bit confused but I wanted to get my thoughts out there while I sit here in my 3 piece managing my business and bored out my skull at the failures of society to understand and accept the lifestyles so many of us love and want,

Thank you, feel free to dm

J x