I’ve [m27] been exploring my bi side as of lately and trying to be more comfortable with it. I don’t necessarily find guys attractive but I have a passion for being on the receiving end of anal (pegging/toys). I like to think I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to be a bottom for guys and fantasize being in a free use situation and bathhouses are just perfect for it. I have visited bathhouses before (2 times in Philly, once in DC) and I’ve always left with minimal action/just getting comfortable being in a bathhouse. I’ve been doing my research and found out that Friday and Saturday nights are usually the most popular and I thought it was worth a shot to see what it’s like to go during the busiest time of the week. So this past Saturday night, I decided to go to crew club once again and boy was it packed with guys…to the point where I started to feel overwhelmed. I ended up getting a room so I could make myself comfortable before jumping into action with the number of guys in the bathhouse. This is where everything went wrong.

1) even though I did proper cleaning/enema before visiting, I had to go again the moment I got my room. Fortunately I brought supplies to clean myself in the bathroom again which sucked given it’s not the best place to do it, but I got the job done.

2) usually I feel super comfortable being nude and naked around others, but the sheer amount of guys present was just so overwhelming, I just kinda became shy and hid in my room for almost an hour. It’s not like I didn’t want to partake in the action or show myself off to everyone (which I did do, I ended up walking around to the bathroom a few times completely naked) it was more so a fear of not being able to communicate and handle rejecting others if needed. I think I would’ve been more comfortable if I had a few more sexual experiences under my belt with guys before being surrounded by so many people who are ready to fuck me if I jus felt more comfortable

3) while I was in the room, I ended up playing with my toys which I brought from home. It’s been a few weeks since I last used them but I’ve always been able to warm up to my toys quickly with minimal time. If you check my history/post, you’ll see that I have larger toys (fist plugs etc) and my goal in the moment was to insert the fist and walk around the common area and see where it would lead. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen to my body and took warming up stage too quickly and ended up bleeding While playing with my toys. This immediately shut down any hopes of getting any bottom action for me which was so disappointing. At this point my self confidence was rock bottom and I’ll all I could think is what a waste of $70 and given up hope for any potential fun.

While a part of me thinks bath houses aren’t for me after this experience, I don’t think one bad trip means I should give it another try.MaybeI should avoid going during Friday Saturday nights next time? Or should I just get a locker and force myself to be in a “vulnerable“ situation where I can’t be shy and hide out in the room? Or Am I better off just avoiding bathhouses all together and trying Grindr?