So my tattoo artist was telling me about a client that came in and wanted a dick tattoo. She let him know that she wasn't comfortable tattooing in that area, and that he may want to find another shop. He insisted that she do his artwork, so she said "fine. But I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want to see your dick. I don't want to touch your dick, so it's gonna be X amount if money"

He said something along the lines of "can't you work with me? I really wasn't looking to spend more that $200" She looked him dead in the eyes and said "I'll tell you what. If you can bend over and suck your own dick, I'll give you a tattoo of your choice for $200

Since then, it's been a running joke that I'm working on my flexibility to get the tattoo (though honestly I just want to be able to suck myself off). I've showed up and said "sorry I'm late. I was practicing for that tattoo you yelled at that customer for" and she's replied with "remember, it doesn't count unless you're able to do it in front of me"

And of course, if she's serious, 5he exhibitionist in me is down to suck myself off in front of someone