I’m 19 years old living in Long Island…I’m fairly out to most people even honestly I’m just out and I never realized fully came to the realization.I’ve been wanting to be in a relationship for the longest time.I’ve only had one crush and it completely ruined me (that’s for a different story).Everytime I try talking to a guy it’s always lets hookup or if I show my face I get flamed or get body shamed (I actually lost weight for that reason).

I keep seeing everybody in a relationship and it makes me feel like shit cause what am I doing wrong with myself or what is it that I’m having trouble with.

Today I shot my shot with this guy that I’ve been following on Instagram and he looks mad cool and outgoing but knowing me I know for a fact he wouldn’t wanna be with someone like me.I look fairly weird and idk cause I feel like I said I’m doing something wrong…

I told him “Hey, I don’t wanna be weird but I think your really attractive and I just wanted to compliment you :)” And he replied with Not weird at all thank you!!! but honestly knowing I overthink I know he was uncomfortable

I hate the feeling of having to be up to the gay beauty standards or even act a certain way.Hinge is not even helping.Like I said before I would get blocked within a millisecond when I show my face and body

People will say my time will come and idk if it’s ever gonna happened I don’t wanna die alone.I don’t wanna be lonely.I want to be safe…

God plz give me a chance…