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First of all, I do apologize if this is posted in the wrong place. If it is, a finger to the right sub would be appreciated.
So, my situation is this. I am a 24 year old gay man who lives in Brisbane, Australia. I am currently in a relationship with a man who lives in The United States (my relationship with him is not the point of concern) which has been going on for the last three and a half years. We're both devoted and don't wish to end our relationship.
Recently after a very personal discussion, we decided that being open in our relationship was the best thing for us considering our circumstances. He constantly works and just barely can afford to keep himself afloat. I have no job, have been searching for one for three years whilst balancing my university studies and have had no income in the time being. I am fortunate enough to live with my parents still but I do feel that soon that will come to an end.
With the way I have lived my life, I have found it very difficult to keep hold of any meaningful friendships. I often have been treated like someone who is not worth remembering and it has really hurt my confidence with meeting people and interactions in person. I am fortunate enough to have great friends who live around the world but I've never been able to keep one in person.
The actual issue I am trying to get to however, is that of my desires and needs as an adult. Since I now have the 'permission' of my significant other, I'm going to finally begin discovering myself in terms of my sexuality (which has never been explored in great detail up to this point except with my boyfriend). I am still technically a virgin and after waiting for so long, I want to finally do something about it. However, I am not trying to look for sex with any random person who would pass me by. I want to have at least some kind of connection with them well before I trust a large part of myself to them.
The only person who I could have ever considered being able to do anything with is someone who I now cannot rely on (mostly regarding being intimate with, not in terms of friendship). I know of no one else who lives anywhere near me who I can share myself with (even just on a level of friendship) and it is tearing me up.
I'm stuck here, unable to see my bf, have no money, no means of getting anywhere without asking for it (which makes me feel guilty) and no one to share my life with in person. I have absolutely no idea what to do and it is really hurting me.
Can anyone out there offer me some advice to at least take the right first steps I desperately need to take?
*Edit: Please excuse my username. I'm posting on an account which I associate with another sub on Reddit. Since this matter has loose connections with what I do there, I felt no need to change the account or make a new one.
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- 10 years ago
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