I want to start off by giving a trigger warning. 🚩🚩

I do not wish for those struggling with every ounce of their strength to read what I wrote and feel bad or angry. Your struggle is valid and so are you!

This is just my little victory post.

At 8 weeks post op I hit the 30% maximum expected weightloss goal for the 3rd month marker a full month early!!! I discovered I was losing weight a little too fast which meant I was also losing some lean muscle.

I am 10 weeks post op now and I'm well above the 30% mark with 2 weeks to go before I finally hit the 3rd month mark. At my current rate I'll be between 35-40%. In this time I've lost so much weight its extremely noticable and I feel incredible.

I want to reiterate this isn't a troll post or rage bait and I'm really hoping people who are struggling don't read this and feel upset at someone else's success because as happy as this incredible weightloss makes me, I recognize it isn't healthy. I am in fact losing muscle.

Parts of me don't care and just like seeing the weight drop on the scale but I also understand this isn't entirely healthy. I eat way to healthy with my own struggles with fear of certain foods but it's become so incredibly easy for me it's just euphoric!

I use to struggle HARD with my anorexia, hating myself and constantly feeling defeated giving everything I had to lose weight. I lost 120lbs before I got this surgery and I've lost 60lbs since I had my surgery 10 weeks ago. I am down 180lbs since my heaviest!!

There is no longer a question in my mind whether I'll succeed or whether I'll reach my ideal body weight. None of this is a struggle anymore to me. I still get a good deal of pain when I eat but I've grown to appreciate the pain because of what it represents to me. The pain guides me and calms my fears. It doesn't feel good but it keeps me euphoric!

I lost my joy for food because every time I ate it hurt and eventually the pain removed any joy in taste a fact I've come to love. If I didn't enjoy what I was eating there was no reason to eat anything not completely and overly healthy. I do not snack, I don't wait for my body to tell me I'm hungry. I have an alarm for every meal, an alarm 30 minutes before and after I eat for water, I have an alarm to remind me to take my calcium citrate and an alarm to tell me to take my multivitamin.

I only eat when that alarm goes off and I eat whether I'm hungry or in the mood or not. I do not permit my mood or emotions to eat or restrict. I've learned I cannot afford to skip a meal or I'll make myself sick. I just do not eat enough to afford to let my eating disorder restrict beyond my nutritional choices and that right there is where my new found euphoria comes from.

I am happy