Update: Ibwas hospitalized for 10 days due to dehydration and couldn't keep anything down. The past 1 1/2 months have been challenging as I try to get my Protein from foods and regain my strength. At 3mo point now I'm doing better, but still have bad days.

Original: 20 days post op and I just want to cry.. I'll try to explain coherently, and just hope I'm not the only one struggling..

Of course the 1st 2 weeks of liquids was mentally and physically dreadful, but I got through it. I thought progressing to puree would be better. But it's still bad as I now have worsened my intolerance for dairy. Protein shakes, cottage cheese, eggs, etc. Esp with shakes, I notice it makes my mucus production skyrocket (i have pretty bad postnasal drip since before preop) so im always spitting and hacking up phlegm. And before you say try other non dairy alternatives, I literally have ran out of money buying so many different products. Different protein shakes (premier, walmart brand, muscle milk, fairlife, quest) Protein water, plant based protein shakes, unflavored protein powder, oikos protein yogurt smoothie which has been slightly better that regular protein shakes but still makes mucus. And I would buy more plant based protein shakes but again, no money. So this Monday, I returned to work because I thought I'd be ok. My plan was to slowly sip on like 2oz of the oikos protein yogurt smoothie, and then continue to sip on it water whenever I had a break. I'm a dental hygienist, so that means whatever time we have between patients. But silly me, of course I started getting exhausted with having to clean my room to prepare for the next patient, and keep talking to patients etc etc. Silly me, of course sipping the protein water isn't going to provide me enough stupid energy for all that work. Even tho I would walk around gas was still being trapped in my stomach and I of course had that stupid lump of mucus in my throat. Come lunch time, I'm sitting in my car and realized that I'm so full of stupid foamy gas that I wouldn't be able to eat my puree food. So I tried to spit my mucus and end up throwing up. I had to cancel the rest of my patients for the day, call my surgeon office , go home and get my leave of absence extended till next month July.. Great, more time off work means no money. And then the nurse on the phone was asking me questions so she could relay to a Dr (not my surgeon or Dr). What was I having for puree? Liquefied protein yogurt cuz I can't tolerate protein shakes anymore. Unsweetened applesauce. Vienna sausage mushed up in sauce because mushed eggs/meatloaf in gravy (as per my vsg book's instructions) sits too heavy. How long has the lump feeling been in my throat? Since like 2-3 days post op but I just toughed it out... Dr gets back to the nurse and nurse tells me "Well dr said it's probably due to the sausage because blah blah it has to be very soupy, and foamy spit can come from not sipping blah blah and you shouldnt have fruits or veggies untill about 6mo postop cuz the sugar blah blah and use gas x for the gas pain" Like are you serious? You think I don't know that?? It's like it went through 1 ear and out the other. Also, I hadn't touched any puree foods since Saturday. I re-explaiend that yes I sip, no I don't down the whole sausage like a pig, and can only have 1 in my sauce, and that i still can't have protein shakes so stop suggesting that, and i never said i ate apples im eating UNSWEETENED APPLESAUCE LIKE THE BOOK SUGGESTS!! And for my gas pain? "Take gas x" Well that perfect cuz gas x doesn't do shit for me anymore. And I try to walk around my room but that's barely possible when I feel fucking weak!.. I also threw up that night and was too afraid to take more than 1oz sips of my warmed up tea (uncaffeinated lemon ginger) and just fell asleep crying. Next day, Tuesday, called again to update my situation and got a different nurse who suggested warm water with whole lemon (peel and all) in the water to help break down my mucus, and to be on liquids for these next 2 days which I understand to help my stomach settle. She called me later to check on me and said to continue until it's time to go back to puree. I appreciated her listening to me. But this whole situation sucks and I've never regretted something more in my life..I thought by now I'd feel ok like most people seem to be. I thought by now I wouldn't feel like a crypt keeper wasting away. I thought by now I'd be able to work again and not be struggling financially because I decided to get this surgery. I don't even have the energy to cry anymore and just wishing for the day I feel normal again. When water won't feel weird in my tummy, when these gas pains stop happening despite taking small sips. When I can enjoy a salad again, and chicken with rice, and a cold refreshing glass of water 40mins after..

And to those who may still wonder, I try to put unflavored protein powder in my puree soups but I can't even eat more than 1/4 cup in a day. I try to drink some protein water but it's so gross and I'm sick of sweet shit. I'm just tired of trying..thanks for listening