(If you want to read this post but with relevant pictures, you can do so here.)

Stepping into a crowded room of students huddled over their laptops, I made a decision that would change my life forever: joining UCLA’s game development club. I didn’t even know what Unity was at the time. That year, I became a team lead at the club, the first woman to even apply for the position in years. I made my first game. I watched The Game Awards and joked, “One day, I’m going to be there.”

Three years later, I am a member of The Game Awards Future Class 2022, 50 individuals who represent the bright, bold, and inclusive future of video games. My game A Taste of the Past has an Overwhelming Positive rating on Steam. I have been featured in Polygon and Game Devs of Color Expo. My studio participated in Code Coven’s Solstice Program, an accelerator in partnership with Unity to create a social impact prototype.

As proud I am of where I’ve come, my journey hasn’t always been smooth; a few months into making games, I cried in an empty parking lot because my first game fell apart. So, how did I get here?

Firstly, who am I? I’m Emily Pitcher, the founder of Sondering Studio, an indie studio creating heartfelt narrative games with a focus on Chinese-American representation. I am our writer, social media manager, and occasional designer. I run our meetings and handle business relations. I also make TikToks about inclusivity in the gaming industry, how to make games, and my favorite indie games.

In this post, I will discuss important lessons, pivotal moments in my career, and small but impactful things I did.

1. I have been rejected from every game dev job I’ve applied to.

In my senior year of college, I applied to 46 game development jobs, from AAA to indie. I was rejected from every. Single. One. This isn’t even counting the gaming internships I applied to throughout college, which I was also rejected from. I have not applied for a single job in my life where I was accepted.

If I asked you to recount gaming success stories, you may answer Eric Barone’s first game being Stardew Valley. Or how Undertale was developed by one person. While these people should be celebrated, the truth is that game dev is filled with failure. I stopped working on my first game only a few months into development. But I tried again. I said hell, if I want to see more diversity in this industry, I’ll start my own studio.

Looking back, I needed these rejections to gain clarity (although at the time, with graduation and bills looming over me, it was terrifying. I would not recommend this.). For me, these rejections were redirection.

1. I released A Taste of the Past, a game I worked on for a few months.

I originally made A Taste of the Past, a narrative game about a young girl overcoming the loss of her mother through cooking Chinese food, for Ludum Dare 48, a three day game jam. People resonated with the game, so my team and I polished the project, added new content, and released it on Steam.

The game is not perfect — it’s short, the animation could be smoother, and the gameplay is simple. I released it anyway and for free. While my team took A Taste of the Past seriously, it was mainly a project we worked on for fun during college. I never thought it’d amount to anything.

I did not realize at the time how impactful simply shipping a game is. This game gave me legitimacy as a game dev influencer on TikTok. It got us into Game Devs of Color Expo. We talked about it in our interview for Code Coven’s Solstice Program. A Taste of the Past got us major opportunities for our studio’s next game (I cannot share what those are yet, but soon, hopefully!).

Not to mention, reading the heartfelt reviews for our game has given me confidence as a game writer. Before this project, I was so bogged down by job rejections, I thought I may never be good enough for this industry. The reviews are what keep me going on nights of self-doubt.

If you’re an aspiring game developer, I would highly recommend taking on a short project and releasing it into the world. The game does not have to be perfect; there is value in proving to yourself you can finish something, anything.

1. Marketing is just as important as the development of your game.

I started a game dev Twitter only a few months into making games. My friends thought I was silly and over eager, but investing in my social media presence has been so important. I found out about Game Devs of Color through Twitter. I was interviewed on Polygon because of Twitter. Five months ago, I started a TikTok that has amassed 24k followers. I’ve been able to connect with a whole new audience on there and share more personal thoughts on gaming. Your game may be amazing, but if no one knows about it, who’s going to play it?

If I did not spend so much time making TikTok videos, I probably wouldn’t be a part of TGA Future Class — the nominations from my audience are what got me here.

1. Every time I worked with someone I liked, I begged them to work with me on something else.

As a founder of a game studio, I knew I would not survive without a competent team. Thankfully, I had already worked with a majority of my team before we became official. I’m still working with a programmer and artist from my first failed game.

My friends in college joked I had a “cult” of developers who would follow me to every project I worked on, but looking back, I am so thankful I built a network of people I like and strengthened those connections. These people are not only my creative collaborators, but my best friends.

When I was a team lead at UCLA’s game dev club, I had to come up with an idea and pitch it to the rest of the club, who could join me to bring my vision to life. My senior year, I really wanted Richard, a computer science student, to be a part of my team. We had already worked together, we liked similar games, and he is great at coding. So I asked him, what ideas do you have and how can I convince you join me? Today, he is a lead programmer for Sondering Studio.

I am nothing without my amazing team. Having reliable partners to work with is priceless.

1. I am optimistic that Sondering Studio is going to be successful (to a potentially delusional extent).

Officially, I am the writer for Sondering Studio. Unofficially, I am our hype woman.

I hold the firm belief that you have to believe you will be successful in order to be successful. I push my team towards certain opportunities because of my optimism that we will make it. Just a year ago, I held a The Game Awards watch party with my team and told them, “Don’t worry, we’ll be here soon enough.” And look at me now!

I recognize that most games are failures. The possibility of creating an indie darling is like saying you’re going to be part of the NFL. But I also believe in the power of telling a damn good story. That has always been the goal of Sondering Studio, to tell a story that stays with you even when our game is over.

This is not to say my confidence never falters. When I was facing job rejection after job rejection, I was heartbroken. What if I’ve built up this goal that will always be a pipe dream? What if I’m just not good enough?

I think you have to be at least a little delusional to think you’re going to make a standout game, and I actively relish in this delusion.

And that’s it! Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave any questions in the comments and I'll try my best to answer them.