I deal with severe depression and alcoholism. I've cut myself off from artistic expression and most of the people in my life. I feel no ambition or motivation to do anything productive.

I got knocked out of employment during the pandemic and haven't recovered. I keep raking up credit card debt on my collection since it's the only thing that makes me happy. I almost just spent $200 on a single rare game and thankfully I stopped myself.

Life is hard. I love the feeling of owning all these games that tell so many stories. I recall the comfort I felt while playing FF7 on PS1 in my room after a day of being bullied in middle school. Nobuo Uematsu sent sounds through the speakers that melted my pains away. As an adult, I feel like I'm chasing that dragon, so to speak.

Any of you relate to this? I feel dead inside.