Did you know the Ancient Egyptians worshipped Futanari catgirls?

Never did I, until I discovered the secret tablet.

How, you ask, did I go from being Europe's most renowned archaeologist to the biggest slutboi Neko Futa concubine around?

I discovered the secret tablet!

Honestly, it's so mean the way those ancient wizards locked the Mistresses up in that pocket dimension just because they've got bigger dicks! I mean, they have the big dicks, so they get to top? That's just how the world works!

Okay, I'll slow down.

I went back to my hotel after that first day at the dig, and suddenly just felt so hot and drowsy!

When I awoke, I wasn't in the hotel anymore. I was in a dungeon.. all sandstone and obsidian. God, the Mistresses have such good taste!

I felt a sensation not unlike a tongue on my butthole. It was a tongue on my butthole.

"Hi there, lil slutboi! Gawd, you guys sleep long. Whassamatter, can't take your roofies? Nya!"

Did you know the Ancient Egyptians invented hentai thousands of years before the Japanese? Such an advanced culture.

The gods whispered sweet truths to me..

"Lol, the gender binary is gay as fuck, suck my dick or you're a fag"

The divines spoke.

After being confronted with such truths over the course of hours, I realised the truth. Our gods are feeble newborns. The only true power has tits, big cocks and cute lil cat ears. Offer a saucer of cream and get on your knees because there's a whole lot of cream coming just for you. This may seem cruel, but our gods our merciful.

I mean, Jesus never gave you a prostate orgasm so hard you hurt your voice screaming, right? Right. Then it's settled.

Fuck Jesus, long live the futa cat gods. See you on Sunday for hentai, silicone lube and naked dancing around the fire.