Hi, 28F/NB person here. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for; thoughts, support, words of wisdom, or just filling a need to put my thoughts out into the void where I know that no one who knows me irl will read this, but here I am.

My relationship with food had always been tense. For context: I’m autistic and my sensory issues forbid me from branching out from my extremely limited palette, which I’ve been bullied about. I also fight with it because of the desire to be smaller thing as well, but less so.

The food thing hasn’t bothered me this much in years, but lately my anxiety’s been awful to me and the amount of food I ate in a day significantly decreased. Then I checked the scale for the first time in 6-12 months and saw that I lost weight and I kept checking it for about 2 weeks. I recognized the pattern and backed off but I still want to check it. And I’m still not eating like I used to - at first I thought maybe it was because I was getting older or the anxiety but there’s a thought pattern I keep falling into before I eat that makes me think that I’m actually having a problem.

I dunno. If you made it this far, thank you for listening.