I found my to this subreddit through my love of architecture, which led to learning about urban planning, and slowly realizing that cars have destroyed society. This process took about 5 years. It’s caused me to reconsider much of what I care about, plenty of soul searching. And this has brought up a lot of weird memories.

Something that’s come up are these memories I have of my childhood. It’s almost like I had two very distinct upbringings, and it makes me feel awful.

In one childhood, I live on a tree lined narrow street, I know all my neighbors, I walk to the store by myself, I bike to school by myself, I play in nearby parks and stay out until after dark with my friends.

In another, I do nothing. I sit at home and I wait. I live in a culs de sac. I don’t know my neighbors, I have no friends here. The nearest store is across 8 lanes of busy traffic. It is too dangerous and far to bike anywhere nice. I am driven to and from school, until eventually I am old enough to take the hour bus ride.

The first childhood feels like a fever dream, we moved when I was around 8 and it completely stunted my growth, removed all confidence and autonomy I had. I remember how “free” I felt when I got a license, that I could finally drive to the kind of place I used to live.

Now, I’ve moved to a place more walkable. I’ve literally not driven a car in over 2 years. I feel more confident and content than ever, which has brought up these like weird repressed memories of a confident child that I forgot I was. End rant.