getting pregnant would probably ruin my life. im young, busy at work and with my social life. i’m a presence in my community and always on the go.

i gave in about a month ago. i found someone on grindr willing to fuck me pregnant and it was nice. he had really long stamina and would fuck me for hours using only his cum as lube.

the first time he fucked he didn’t even wait till i bottomed out (which hurt a lot) he just buried himself balls deep and came inside, he stayed hard and inside me for about 10 minutes before i bottomed out and he started fucking me again.

we fucked again three more times, once in his car where he creamed me three more times then another at my house. left me dripping and bleeding.

i got my period pretty soon after that and i guess that’s when i reality of this all flooded me. i wasn’t pregnant, i was on my period, conception didn’t happen and i was almost relived at first… but then i realized that this urge, this deep desire within me would never ever go away. no matter how much testosterone i take or whatever dreams i have my body will always want to submit to this urge.

the more i age the more i want it. i really thought this was just a kink for me but now… im not sure. i genuinely had to delete my grinder because of how bad i want to be pregnant i think. how badly i want to experience it all.

i want so desperately to feel the fear and anxiety when after a month and a bit i’m so nauseous, and i’ll resist at first cause there’s just no way that i’m pregnant… it’s just my stomach problems acting up again. but maybe my boobs would be so tender that deep down i’d know. i want to start to feel the bulge, watch my skinny body im so proud of gain weight and shift with the life inside me. want to see the judgement when the doctor gives me the ultrasound to tell me i got knocked the fuck up. feel the invasive prodding hands going through my body each month as i grow bigger and bigger.

i want to know the shame, the cravings, feel what it’s like to be completely and utterly helpless for 9 months. the longest 9 months of my life. and then after that? probably the most pain id ever experience and the worst part is? even after all that? my body would want it again.