TW: transphobia

Tl;dr: Coming out to my parents left me completely empty. Say anything, nothing can make this worse.

So, I have a life of my own but wanted to tell my parents, my family is dear to me, so I sat down with them and told them I'm trans and that I don't identify as a woman.

My mother talked about liberalism, how everyone just thinks they can choose everything they are, and about God, how God knows me by name, and about regret, detransitioning and such. It's a bad thing, she said. She knew something was up. She think it's a disorder just like the eating disorder I had. And she got upset when I corrected that it is not a "sex change" but gender-affirming treatment.

My father just repeated that he cannot understand over and over again. He compared "being trans" with drug abuse, you know, that parents can't go along with things like that. And he was worried that I will do something that cannot be reversed - at least he kept saying the same things as my mother, about mistakes and regret and such.

I asked if they want to ask anything or know anything, they did not. The conversation did not really go anywhere. In the end my mother told me I cannot change my genes, that my genes say I'm a girl, and I said I respect her view but cannot comply.

And now I just lie here awake and feel exhausted and numb and alone.

God this trans thing sucks.