God damn, does my mother frustrate me. She is pretty much the only person in my life at this point that still misgenders me off the bat - and I've been out since 2009/2010. Even if you only take into account the time that I've looked like a man and sounded like a man, that's still about a year. I'm coming up on 2 years on testosterone, have a beard and moustache, and not a single stranger defaults to female normally.

When I'm around my mother though, it is all just awkward and down the drain. She straight up outs me all the time. Like, now for example: my washer is dead and I'm currently fighting with my landlord to replace it (which is another deal entirely), so I needed to get some wash done for me and my partner. I go over, all is fine, I sit and dink around on my laptop.. and then my mother introduces me to her long term boyfriend's cousin who is over here for whatever the fuck reason as my old name and as 'she'. The look on his face screamed discomfort, and I can hear him on his phone talking quietly - I'm assuming to someone in the family - about me. They're all pretty close in his family, and they are pretty conservative even though her BF is not, so "one of those he-shes" is the kind of intelligent commentary I get to deal with. I HATE this. I hate being forcibly outed IRL, especially at this stage in my transition because I'm pretty much stealth outside of my direct group of friends and my volunteer work - and even then I've been assumed to be cis by clients and such.

It is just so fucking awkward. This isn't the first time this has happened. Even worse, she does it regardless of who is around, so I get outed to people that I don't want knowing my business. If we go out in public together, she doesn't even seem to get it. Its like she just pretends it isn't happening. She's even said something loudly about me going into the men's room before. She's talked about having a "mother daughter day" to a hostess at a restaurant, who, bless her heart, at least was oblivious enough not to understand she meant me (she asked if we were expecting another person for our party and looked a bit confused).

It gets to the point where I feel like I can't go out in public with her, and increasingly like I can't even go to see her unless I know no one else will be there. Her BF is in a band that opens for a lot of bigger bands, and I love going out to them to their shows because it means I can meet a bunch of musicians, but I can't stand it, because I just end up unhappy and embarrassed. It sucks.

I don't really expect any advice - I know there's not much I can really do about it except try and talk to her about it for the millionth time, but... ugh. It just sucks ass.