I’ve had dysphoria ever since I was a kid, always just felt like a boy, was a tomboy then came out around 14 and started transitioning. I’ve been on T, look like a guy, and had top surgery, and I feel a LOT more comfortable in my body and identity, and am very happy with it!

I used to identity as a lesbian, and I love women. Explored my sexuality with men a bit (cuz yknow the testosterone affect) and could say I am bisexual or bicurious but I seem to prefer women

Being viewed as a man makes me feel comfortable, but being viewed as “the man” in a relationship with a woman makes me feel.. idk, weird? I don’t date straight women, for personal reasons, but I find even dating bi women they place certain standards and expectations on me, the same as cis men.

In most ways this is very validating! But.. I am a fluid person and don’t always necessarily go by societal standards for gender roles, especially with relationships. Like being the little spoon is supreme (tmi even if I am not necessarily a bottom)

I’m a fan of the idea of role reversed relationships, but since I’m trans I feel like it narrows my dating pool even more ;_; and I like the way that wlw relationships felt in essence over the way a straight relationship feels sometimes

I think that I honestly just have to find the right fluid and open person for me to feel more comfortable in any relationship. I find myself jealous of lesbians or accidentally becoming attracted to a girl who only likes women, like fuck 😭😭

Can anyone else kind of connect or understand this?

TLDR: I feel comfortable and very satisfied with my transition but struggle to feel comfortable as “the man” in a relationship with a woman