it's been 2 years today since i socially transitioned and i feel like i'm not happy. don't get me wrong, of course there is a part of me that's extremely filled with pride seeing how far i've come especially since i've grown to love myself so much which had been impossible for years pre transition.

but man, this is so hard. i feel like a lost toddler navigating an unapologetic world. socializing is hard as fuck. being misgendered sucks. i don't feel like a man enough. i find it so difficult to belong in cismale communities. even ftm communities in my country are hard to find. i've grown numb to dysphoria but it still makes me go gaga everyday. i can't do hrt yet either since i'm still dependent on my conservative/home of phobic parents and it might take long before i can do it at all.

atp i just laugh at myself and my poor luck in the birth lottery 🥲 please send sth encouraging bc 🥲🥲 tyia! 🥹