Kaiser Permanente, my health insurance company, is refusing to cover my testosterone Ethanante prescription because it's not a "preferred medication." I am allergic to Testosterone Cyprionate, I break out in hives.

The pharmacy and my doctor are trying to force me to switch to gel because the Ethanante will be an arm and a leg due to insurance refusing to cover it.

Here's the issue. I take my T maybe 50-60% of the time, because I have horrible anxiety about taking it due to the amount of anti trans legislation currently being passed across the country. I literally turn into an anxious mess crying in the bathtub on shot day because I'm so afraid I'm "ruining my body" by being myself. So switching to gel is not really an option, because I wouldn't be able to force myself to take it everyday, when I can barely force myself to take it once a week.

But insurance is refusing, outright refusing to cover my T Ethanante because it's not "preferred" even though I'm allergic to the kind that is "preferred."

What do I do?!