I feel like my dysphoria has just worsened around my sexuality since I started T and started seeing someone new who accepts me for who I am and wants all of the parts of my sexuality. To explain, with my previous partners it was easy to just fall back on bottoming because I have a hole instead of a dick, and they were super vanilla (not into "pegging"). My current partner is unchaining some sort of deep desire within me I locked away to be able to penetrate them and pleasure them that way but I unfortunately still just have this stupid hole and I am just... frustrated struggling to get my mind right on this and just enjoy this unlocked yearning because I feel so deeply robbed thinking about my body, I feel so vulnerable and very sexually frustrated. I cant even get off, partially probably because im on a new medication probably but also my body is like a vampire for pleasure for me around this fantasy.. Id have to completely disconnect and pretend I have a dick that big usually to even get off but this is so real now and the fantasy could be real that I'm like... distressed about it?

I want to cry