My family has never entirely taken the gravity of me being transmasc seriously, and I have dipped my toes into opening a conversation about how I was planning to get top surgery with my grandma and my mother on two seperate occasions. They both went awfully. On other occasions I have been screamed at by the men in my family, and that was like 3 years ago, it still stings to this day.

Basically I am deeply afraid of the outcome specifically of my grandparents finally knowing I'm on testosterone, I started T last night, and while it's euphoric and scary I don't know what I'm gonna do, I can't hide it forever but I feel so alone. I don't want to shock my grandparents but I also don't want to talk about it unless I have to because I Know I'll be called names or be scoffed at and its going to make me die inside...