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I still remember the first time I laid eyes on her. It was at a Shabbos table in a Jerusalem high-rise overlooking the shuk. I had just graduated college and she was a few years older. Wearing red lipstick, her blond curly hair did little to detract from her piercing eyes. Something told me that she was different, and as I sat across from her, her warm smile, infectious laugh, and those piercing brown eyes - they all captivated me.

Little did I know then that this chance encounter would change the course of my life forever.

In the weeks that passed we orbited. I'd spend my nights talking to my fiance back home while I spent time in Yeshiva, but on Shabbos my attention turned to her. On her part, I'd see her around town with people I knew, smile at eachother in passing, pretending we hardly knew each other, but on Yom tov'm, we'd find ways to connect...graze our skin against each other.

But she was different from me in many ways. Born to a well known Chabad family, she was well on her way to becoming a shlucha in some far off place. I was newly religious, with plans to marry once I returned home. Part of me thought she was just being kind.

On Rosh Hashanah the anticipation began to break. We found ourselves alone on our hosts balcony and as I went to pass her my hand slid down the small of her back. She pushed back against mine, and the subtle reassurance of wanted touch made my cock groan. That night we sat beside eachother. Playing at being a couple, our legs pressed together I took in the warmth of her skin.

As Yom Tov ended and I turned on my phone, I noticed shed added me the night before - an indication that she wasn't nearly as frum as she appeared. Around 2am she proposed to meet. My heart skipped a beat.

An unknown, but now familiar feeling, of adrenaline set in. As I walked to our meeting spot I couldn't help but shake.

She met me on a bench near her apartment, laughing softly in the light "I was just wondering how far you'd go" she said.

"I'll go as far as you'll let me" I responded.

"Would you cheat on your fiance?" she asked

I brought her close, letting her sit on my lap. I whispered in her ear "anything for you" I said. She leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. The world around us melted away as our passion ignited like a flame. In that moment, all caution disappeared, replaced by an insatiable hunger for one another.

"Let's watch a movie" she said as she got up and pulled me down the narrow alleyways of nachlaot.

.....

That night we had sex. Hot, 20s sex between forbidden lovers. And from that day on, we found ourselves drawn into a whirlwind of forbidden love. We'd sneak off to secluded spots, steal kisses in the shadows, and indulge in stolen moments beneath the stars. Our love was like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path - including our better judgment.

And as time passed, when we both moved back to crown heights, and she started dating, and we both got married, we'd sext, swap memories, and even meet up to relive our past. She was my supporter in lust, passing me off to her friends, then taking me back, until one day I see she and her husband have moved on shluchos.

She used me. And I loved it.