It doesn seem what i do irl friends i make slowly disconnect and push me further away, it feels like im going to be left alone again.

Same with online friends, had so many but got left behind, i remember one i got close to i'd consider a best online friend, even promised that they'd chat with me. Well i rejoined server but i remember the last few messages not that old maybe few months, of saying miss talking to em but you know they said they've been busy with irl stuff most time n only talking to couple people in dms here n there thought nothing of it.

After rejoining i noticed how active they actually have been and i guess i should have just seen it coming, obviously im a nobody now once again i may as well just live and be alone instead. Everyone just seems to leave me in the end despite saying how im apparently good company to be around guess im not that good enough after all.