I'm kind of in a state, so I apologize if this is a disjointed cacophony of words.

With my roommates' blessing, I took the leap of faith to leave a job that was causing multiple panic attacks and crying jags a week to trying to make a go at making a living from writing, either full-time, part-time employments, or freelancing. I had one gig that I was told was flexible. I hesitated to say their name before, but it was Valnet. I had heard the warning stories, but it was the only thing offering. They really didn't care how good I was, they worshipped at the alter of SEO, which I have a rudimentary grasp of and was learning as I went. Today my contract was terminated. No warning, just gone.

I feel like a failure.

I'm 42 and desperately trying not to go back to the hospitality business, which I am good at, at the price of a little chunk of my soul every fucking day (pardon the language). How do I do this? What did you all do to make it work? It's not as easy as Hollywood makes it out to be and I need advice. I have a talent. There's so little I know as fact in life, but I know these two things: 1 out of every 1 person dies, and I can fucking write.

I feel a little lost right now. Thoughts? (Please follow the Wil Wheaton Rule - "Don't be a dick" - cuz I don't think I can handle dickery right now.)