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Edit: Note that I am talking strictly in the context of the show, not the books.
When Ned Stark brought Jon Snow back from the Tower of Joy, he made one of the most most important decisions in Game of Thrones which is keeping Jon’s true parentage a secret even from his wife, Catelyn. It’s clear that Jon’s safety was the primary reason behind this secrecy, but here’s the thing, there were other people present at Jon’s birth and they witnessed the event. Lyanna Stark wasn’t alone when she gave birth to Jon. There were attendants, maybe they were loyal servants of House Targaryen, in the room when Jon was handed to Ned. Did he really expect these women to stay silent forever?
Considering that there were people who knew the truth about Jon’s parentage, did Ned really need to keep the secret from Catelyn? These women might not have had the same loyalty to Ned or to the Stark family, and they could’ve easily spread the word. I mean, it’s hard to believe he killed them, and the idea that no one would talk seems like a long shot. So, what was the harm in telling Catelyn, that’s just one more person (and someone who was closest to him), and not ruin his entire relationship with his wife?
I don't mind that theory but also, what if they just had no idea who she was? Since she was far from home?
Really? I never read anything to suggest that but I would love to check it out if you have any references!
Genuinely why did she do that??? What on earth made her think this was a good idea?
I honestly don't think she's a snake. I think she's a Tully, and therefor not committed to the longevity of the Starks, but rather to her immediate family, her children etc. She acts like a mother, with the pull of the head of a house, not the head of a hosue who is also a mother. I really think she did what was "best" in her mind for her family, not thinking of the long term implications or political affects, just straight up a panicked mother scrambling for whatever she could, which was horrible judgemental and unfortunately integral to the fall of her family.
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This is the best argument imo, Ned didn't know Cat at first, and when he did. He hopefully had realized she wasn't the right person to share that with. In theory, there would be signs before then that she would misplace trust, act irrationally out of desperation for her loved ones, but that's just a guess