Hi :-)
I had fantasies about being dominated for basically all my life, so I already knew that I find it sexually arousing to have less control.
I relatively recently (2 months ago) got together with my new girlfriend (I am ethically non-monogamous). She is open to trying out things, which is great. She told me that sometimes people are annoyed because she phrases things as orders, and I just love it.
This relationship feels very intense on both sides. There is a lot of fear, though, on my part. I am scared that she might decide she doesn't want a more serious relationship, after all, while I have an extremely deep crush and am dreaming of a shared future already. I am scared of not being good enough for her.
And sometimes, when service requires something I do not want, that makes me deeply sad. For example, she prefers to sleep in her bed alone most times. So yesterday, I was allowed to massage her, and she was very relaxed and eventually fell asleep while cuddling me, and I also fell asleep. We woke up during the night, and she asked me to leave. I was extremely sad when she did, I felt like she was rejecting me, it was terrible.

I considered trying to go slower, be less emotionally involved, so things like this hurt me less, but I do not know how to do that.

Anybody have any good suggestions how to navigate this?