I just sat and wrote down my bills. I split it into three categories. The things I have to pay — no questions asked (rent, phone, car, car insurance), the things I need to pay (credit card debt), the subscriptions (literally just HBO, Spotify, gym) and I found out I’m LITERALLY living paycheck to paycheck.

These numbers don’t include gas, groceries etc, eating out on those trips that fall apart so I didn’t meal prep, dr visits, etc. Even if I cut the subscriptions, I’d only be saving $67 which is basically 2 hours of work for me. This is not ok. I just got stranded for 2 extra days in a foreign country on a layover. I’m constantly dipping into my savings, just had to do work on my car. Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I also work on average like 110 hours.

How am I (we) supposed to live like this?? Our contract is pre Covid. Pre covid, I’d be sitting so pretty with this money. My rent would be a minimum of $400 less. Groceries would be less. Food would cost less, and some of my cards wouldn’t be maxed out. Two years in a row I’ve owed the irs.

This is not okay. I’m so mad. I’m genuinely so mad. I keep googling personal finance and tips and they all say I need to lower my expenses (which can’t be lowered really) and increase my pay. I’m not being funny or cute when I say I’d probably end up killing myself if I worked anymore than I already work. The culture is so bad on the line right now and it’s hard to keep my anxiety and depression tamped down when I don’t have time to reset.

CONTRACTS NOW