I don't really know how to start this, but here goes. I want to make a few disclaimers first. One is that I did go through therapy; I had a therapist for about 8 months, but we had to abruptly stop. She was really helpful, and I do plan on going back to therapy—not necessarily with her, but I do plan on going back when things are more stable in my life. The second disclaimer is that I am aware there are people out there who are worse off than me. I'm not trying to compare my issues to theirs; I'm just someone who's frustrated and stuck in life, seeking some kind of guidance or direction.

To give some context, I graduated high school in 2011 as an honors student, but I started off with Cs and declined to Ds. I had undiagnosed depression at the time and was pretty aimless. I still have problems with confidence, but I am closer to a revelation about what I want to do, so it has gotten better.

The only school I got accepted to was a private school, which cost a lot of money. I co-signed a loan with my dad, and money issues have always been a source of stress in my family. During my freshman year of college, I was happy to be out of the house and making friends, but I wasn't focusing on academics. I felt guilty because all that money wasn't contributing to my education since I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I liked a media class I took and the idea of working in television, but the other classes didn't inspire me.

I eventually decided to go back home and attend a two-year school, where I earned an associate's degree in communications in 2015. I transferred to a state school but remained aimless and eventually dropped out in 2018. I took a full-time job, and that's where things started to spiral. I stayed at one job for about a year, tried to go back to school, faced complications, and then stuck with another full-time job for about three and a half years. I even got promoted to a salaried position, but I was miserable and didn't hide it well.

Every job I've had, managers would sit me down for a one-on-one and ask if I really wanted to be there. This always made me feel like I didn't belong. My manager at my last job suggested I pursue what I wanted to do, which led me to therapy. My therapist helped me realize that I have trouble with commitment and that this behavior has spiraled into the situation I am in now. Despite this, I discovered my passion for making comic books and listening to people, leading me to consider becoming a therapist, specifically an art therapist, to use my experiences and passions to help others build confidence.

Currently, I'm in a tough spot. I live with my parents in Boston, which is extremely expensive. I'm 31, almost 32, and I feel like I need to move out to progress in life, but the cost of living is too high. I applied to Worcester State University, but without a car and enough savings, it doesn't seem feasible. I briefly worked as a behavioral technician with preschool autistic children, which I regret leaving as it was a meaningful position, but I couldn't handle the pressure and left after a few weeks.

I recently started a job as a material handler at a hospital, and it's not a good fit for me. I'm stuck because I don't have further education, and I've been jumping from job to job. I got accepted to Salem State and Fitchburg, but I'm uncertain about my career path. Money is always on my mind, and it's hard to focus on school while working a job that doesn't make me happy.

My main goals are to create a comic book and win an Eisner Award, preferably before I turn 40. I also want to get into television production, voice acting, and practical effects, and meet creative, funny people. Lastly, I want to be a therapist, primarily an art therapist, and maybe open an art center or community center to help others build their confidence.

My current plan is to save money for 90 days, then move to Chicago, where rent seems cheaper. I'd like to become a resident, apply to public schools, and take acting classes and other creative activities. However, I have doubts about every decision I make and need guidance. Should I stay in Massachusetts and try to go to school here, or move to Chicago and start fresh? I want to live comfortably in an urban environment, working on periodic art projects or freelance jobs, with enough free time to take classes and enjoy life.

I am open to any other alternate ideas. If my current career path seems unrealistic, I would appreciate suggestions for more realistic options. Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated.