LISTEN UP Y’ALL I’m here to blow the whistle on all things dye! Ever wondered if you could dye your favorite ugly accessory into something fabulous? Those folks over at RIT are laughing at you for even thinking about it. But I’m telling you now- the answer is YES. Here’s a list of everything BIG DHARMA doesn’t want you to know!

• Yes, you can dye your clothes white! Those boring dark wash Levi’s, the black glitter backpack from your brief stint as a cheerleader, even that ruby red lingerie! Dye companies want to make you think you can only make things DARKER and that white dye doesn’t exist! They’re just gatekeeping the white dye from the public by putting it in the cleaning aisle and branding it under the name Clorox. It’s a miracle substance that definitely won’t ruin your mom’s ugly choice of wedding dress colors.

• You don’t need special dyes for different fabrics! Dye is dye. They just want you to spend more money on “synthetic” dyes. Artificial colors and flavors in my dye? Yuck, no thanks!

• Yes, you absolutely can dye only those ugly yellow pinstripes and leave the rest of that pink sweater looking bubble-licious! How about a nice burgundy? Don’t worry, throw it all in the wash together and be sure to choose the “stripes only” setting on your machine, it will automatically just skip right over the parts you don’t want to dye!

• I am sadly legally obligated to tell you that the ultra deep shade of black you’ve selected is not possible due to licensing issues. Please choose another shade.

• Acid dyes are exactly what they say they are. Very, very colorful LSD.

• finally, if you can dream it, you can dye it. Your childhood blanket? Dye it. Neighbor’s cat? Dye it. Only can find the color you want in Manic Panic but are trying to dye your leather sneakers? JUST DYE IT!

*disclaimer, the above is for informational purposes only and I cannot be held responsible for any harm to your treasured possessions or creatures. Not that anything bad will happen. It’s just dye. Snort it at your own risk.