I wouldn't really consider myself a hardcore player. I started the game in 5.4 and hit max level in 5.5 and joined a rather small FC really early on that I liked but wasn't quite active. I grinded tomes for a few weeks and eventually got into extremes and savage after echo was introduced. People in my FC told me that I was better off with a bigger FC because I was really engaged with the game and that most of their players were taking a break till EW for the FC to recruit. I followed their advice and left on good terms. Finally found a big FC where we'd run roulettes together everyday and do all kinds of events and I was really enjoying myself and the laid-back FC atmosphere. Then I started progging E12S after downing 11S and it was just way harder and more frustrating than the previous floors. I complained about my PF experiences a couple of times in FC chat, about losing prog between PFs and discussing DPS checks and about how good you needed to be to tackle week 1 savage. I also started levelling SAM and would complain about how I was terrible at it and needed to practice a lot to be savage-ready because I liked the job and wanted to main it. Apparently, me talking about this stuff was all a huge deal to the higher ups because I got confronted about spreading negativity in the FC chat and being too tryhard so I told them it was probably because I was frustrated with my progress in 12S. I did consider that I was being too obnoxious about it so I told them I would stop talking about savage altogether. I didn't mention E12S again until I cleared it and got the mount. I even got some people admiring the mount when I used it on the lawn.

I thought everything was fine until I asked to join for daily roulettes a couple of days later and mentioned that I wanted to get SAM up to 80 and start grinding tomes for BiS and to practice the job in 80 content. This...did not go over well for some reason. They started berating me about how BiS was meaningless since Endwalker was soon so I told them I wanted to hit an optimal SkS level on SAM and BiS was the easiest way (I had coffers saved up from the raids for context). They just got really angry at this and told me I didn't know how to have fun, that there was more to the game than DPS and that I was always tryharding. Got some abuse hurled at me in the heat of the moment and I was honestly shocked people hated me this much. I silently finished up our roulettes and left the FC. I'm back in the FC I started with but I'm just really struggling what to take away from this experience.

I do want a more social experience in the game but I hate conflict and particularly being the center of that conflict. I'm really not sure if I should give up on looking for an active FC or keep trying but at least this time, I'd like to ask people if I'm a good fit for a big FC since I do plan to tackle even more difficult content and explore other areas of the game I haven't even touched.

Edit: Server is Ragnarok on EU btw.

Edit 2: I really appreciate all the advice despite not a whole lot of context being provided from my end. I think I'll look for social FCs again after I'm more comfortable with my skill level on the jobs I want to play and hopefully find one with more likeminded people.