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Today marks three years since my Name Day, the day I legally changed my name as part of my social transition. And as usually happens on important anniversaries of my transition, I reflect on how important Final Fantasy XIV was to me finally figuring out I'm a trans woman.
If it wasn't for Final Fantasy XIV and this character, I don't know where I'd be right now. I created Rhagana Doomslayer on September 15, 2013.
A year or so after I made Rhagana, I was invited to a free company by its leader, Towering Falcon. She introduced me to the rest of the players with she/her pronouns and in that instant, my egg was pretty much shattered.
I didn't correct her, and for about a year I struggled with who I really was. Until one night at work, I literally had an internal back and forth. And once I admitted the truth, my mind knew a peace that it had never known. All of the weight that I didn't know was on my shoulders finally dropped and it felt like I had surfaced after nearly drowning.
My story isn't exactly unique. Many trans folks, as well as cis gays, have used online games and the internet as a path to self discovery for as long as both have existed. To say nothing of how we use the internet as a (somewhat) safe space to express ourselves.
Final Fantasy as a series has always been important to me, because it taught me games could be more than just interactive toys. Now, FFXIV specifically is important to me because it probably saved my life and taught me who I am.
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