I’m now going on a 2 month binge after just “hitting it once” day after my one year anniversary I go take one hit now I’m 2 months in doing even more now living in a homeless man’s trailer justt supply him dope I have a place to sleep but he’s a tweaker and it’s constant bipolar arguments it drives me insane. This is my first time being homeless and I guess I got lucky finding this man cause I don’t gotta sleep ina tent but damn dude everydays it’s something it’s a freaking different world I don’t think I’m up for this side of addiction I was mainly a “functional addict” I mean I still have my job but I had an apartment did stuff casual only had to use a tad just to stay well now I’m full blown at it and I can tell I can literally only have 4 hours of sleep then I have to hit some just to go back to sleep …. Fuck man like I want to check myself into detox but I’m so ashamed I have to redo this all over when I know I shouldn’t of started in the first place. It’s so much more accessible this relapse which is one side that won’t let me detox but I’m so fucking wanting to get sober and go back to my “Normie” lifestyle im sick man. I wanna trust myself to taper down but it’s also so hard when I have no actually place to sleep. Most people are gonna say go to detox/rehab it’s just I literally just got outta one 8 months impatient and fuck I hated it but I did it. It’s like I can only hold this job for so much longer I know it’s a ticking fucking time bomb. I just wrote this to vent idk what I’m actually gonna get out this post from anyone.