This week, I had a long chat with a relatively new domme about her developing 24/7 dynamic. Her sub kept breaking some rules they had agreed, and she was in equal part frustrated and wondering what she did wrong - she was punishing him, after all.

We went back and forth and eventually got to the bottom of it - the 'punishment' was a fairly erotic spanking and often ended up serving as foreplay.

They hadn’t really discussed what ‘punishment’ was supposed to mean. He wanted the fun ‘rawr, I will punish you’ narrative and spanks. She wanted him to follow the rules - they were there to genuinely modify his behaviour.

(While I have permission to share, I don't want to go into excessive detail. For the sake of clarity, I will just say, the rules in question were personal preference, not a boundaries / relationship issue - that’s a whole different kettle of fish.)

Anyway, we talked about the distinction between punishment and 'funishment' and I ended up writing a quick guide for future reference.

But it got me thinking, given this is something I also ran into (head first) as a newbie, is it a wider spread problem? So, I thoughts I'd see what other dommes' experience was like.

So, how about you guys? Have any of you encountered any challenges in distinguishing between punishment and funishment? Have you dealt with brats and masochists looking to bait you into 'punishing' them? How has your understanding of punishment evolved over time?