So it's definitely a niche thing that I'm searching for, but I figure life is short and so I might as well ask the universe for what I want and see what happens.

One unfortunate disclaimer out of the way though: I'm living in East Asia and don't plan to leave the area as my life/career is pretty invested here. So I'm hoping to find someone in this general part of the world, or willing to come here. Unless by some fluke chance we happen to live in the same city (which is probably lottery ticket odds, lol), it'd necessarily have to be online at first, but I'd want to move to a real life relationship as quickly as reasonably possible. So I'm probably doubly-niche now.

That all out of the way.

Hopefully my title encapsulates pretty well the dynamic I'm looking for, but I'll try and expand on it a bit so we can see if we're on the same page or not.

I've felt this way pretty much all my life since puberty, that the more attracted I was to a woman, the more I wanted to serve her and do what she wanted. I'm far from 'submissive' in my day to day life, but for whatever reason of nature or nurture, when it comes to intimate relationships with women, I feel an instinctive desire to submit to them; and I've always kind of known I wanted my girlfriend to be the one 'in charge' in our relationship.

When I was younger, I struggled with this a lot, as the concept is so contrary to cultural norms; I used to think there was something wrong with me for feeling this way. I've come to realize it's perfectly natural variance in human sexuality. But still, the cultural taboo around it, and lack of even conceptualization of it in most people's mind makes it really hard to bring up. In fact, I've never told a single person about this side of myself. Based on how I present myself, I don't really think anyone would suspect. Which is kind of what brings me here, lol.

More or less what I'm looking for then is a relationship that would look "normal" to the "outside" world, but in reality you would be the one 'in charge'. Of course in reality we're both consenting adults who respect one another and are entering into this freely, but I think it'd be really nice to find someone to cultivate this somewhat different sort of relationship dynamic with. It'd be really nice to be in a relationship that, while mutually affectionate and respectful, is primarily based around me serving you.

I'm very service-oriented when it comes to relationships, and I really adore the idea of just serving and worshipping my girlfriend and focusing on her comfort and happiness before anything else. I'd like it very much if you were rather controlling, and think it would be really fun to see how obedient I could be to you. I'm not really into sadism or stereotypical BDSM aesthetics, to be honest. Just a "normal" relationship with a quite controlling girlfriend would be amazing!

Of course it takes time to build such a thing. Please don't message me presuming we're already in a relationship with this dynamic - I find that kinda cringy, tbh. I'd much rather let things develop organically between us. But I would like it, a lot, if you were assertive and took the lead in the relationship from pretty early on. I'll be really happy to follow your lead. :)

In the long run, I hope we can have a dynamic where we have good communication and really understand each other, but you have final say in all the decisions. I think it's probably important we talk about big issues together, but for small decisions, I think it'd be pretty cool if you made those most of the time. :)

And I adore the idea that, when we're in private at least, you can take leadership and tell me what to do and I can obey. I'm actually very ambitious and goal oriented, and hope you are too. I think this sort of relationship can actually facilitate self-improvement really well. I serve you and help you focus on what you need to do so you can develop yourself, and you tell me what to do and help keep my mind focused on improving myself and serving you better.

So... if you've read my novel of a post and think we're on the same page, I really hope to hear from you. :)

A few random facts about me for now.:

• 31
• INTP/J
• As the title indicates, I'm living in Asia, but originally from the West. I can speak Mandarin moderately ok.
• 184 CM
• Brown Hair, Green Eyes. A little facial hair. Happy to send a picture after we send a few messages if you seem cool.
• Working in education; thinking of going back to graduate school in a year or two.
• I really enjoy travel (I've been to over 30 countries!) and biking / hiking / being in nature in general. I also enjoy weightlifting and try to stay relatively fit. Staying healthy is important to me, and I hope it is to you too.
• Equally well, I'm a homebody. I enjoy chilling and watching true crime documentaries or ones on pretty esoteric philosophy or many other things. Heh.
• I really have a thing for psychological horror and science fiction films
• I don't have any pets because my current living situation isn't ideal for that, but I love the thought of raising a magpie and/or bengal cat one day. :)