About me

I'm an introvert who is a huge dork at heart. I love spending time in nature (particularly the forest), reading and writing, learning new things (particularly about languages/linguistics, anthropology and history, mythology and different religions), going to the theatre and opera, listening to outdated music and playing with my dog.

I consider myself a (female) bisexual dominant stone top, meaning I like being in charge and making my subs feel good but I do not enjoy being on the receiving end of any sort of penetration. I'm interested in both male and female subs.

What I'm looking for on here:

Friends or a long-term romantic relationship (I'm not interested in polyamory). I'm not interested in casual play at all and I will only engage in D/s with a romantic partner.

What I'm looking for in a partner:

• looking for a long-term romantic relationship
• in my age range (~ 23-35, roughly)
• I'm very attracted to people who are just good (kind, helpful). I don’t need someone to be the smartest person or the most confident or the funniest, just try to be the kindest version of yourself you can be.
• good communication, willingness to listen and speak up if there are problems
• mutual respect (especially when it comes to personal boundaries) and trust
• willingness to compromise
• strong sense of self and independence, maturity
• overall emotional connection
• I adore gentle people and even those who are a bit shy.
• "naturally submissive" as in not just looking to have a certain kink fulfilled but someone who is happy to let me take charge in the bedroom
• feminist/feminist ally
• has done their homework with regards to kink -- it's fine to be inexperienced (I am as well) but I would hope any person wanting to engage in kink has at least done some research
• someone who doesn't view me as a "kink dispenser" and sees me as a human being who is flawed and imperfect just like everyone else

Me as a partner:

Of course, it's a bit silly to just write a whole essay about what I am like in a relationship so I'm not going to do that and just hope my positive qualities will become clear during actual conversation. :)

That being said, I try to embody all of the traits I look for in a partner myself (kindness, empathy, independence, maturity, mutual respect, loyalty, honesty...). Since my biggest love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time, it's important to me to put aside time for my partner and really focus on them as well as performing small acts that make them happy, such as getting their favourite drink from the coffee shop or helping them with a task they've been struggling with.

I also try to actively improve myself, mostly by journaling (doing shadow work), meditating and going to therapy.

One of the things I'm still working on is my tendency to withdraw when I'm stressed and wanting to solve all my problems by myself.

I'm also still finishing up university right now, so in case of a potential long-distance relationship, I don't know what my situation will look like in a year or so. Ideally, my partner would be open to re-locating to Germany.

One last thing to note is that I've only had relationships with other women before but I am bisexual so I'm open to men as well. I've mostly avoided dating men because I am a stone top and I figured most men wouldn't be into that and because I don't enjoy all of the gender roles and expectations in straight relationships. Let me buy a beautiful boy flowers if I want to!

Me as a domme:

I don't have much experience with domming per se but I have been a stone top in all of my previous relationships. I learnt that I like being the "active" partner, the one who does things rather than being the one who gets acted upon. I don't enjoy being penetrated at all, I would be okay with receiving cunnilingus but frankly, my sexuality is more focused on my partner and making them feel good. That's why long-term chastity/orgasm denial doesn't interest me, I enjoy making my partner come too much to be satisfied with that.

In general, I would consider myself more along the lines of a gentle domme, I'm very into giving praise and taking care of my partner in the bedroom. I don't like being harsh at all and I do not want to insult/degrade my sub (making them fell embarrassed is another matter entirely -- especially if my sub becomes flustered because of the praise I heap onto them).

I think there are two overall "schools" of femdom, with the focus either being on the sub or the dom and of course most people fall somewhere in the middle. I consider "dom-focused" to be acts like a sub attending to their domme in the bath or performing body worship on them or admiring their beauty while "sub-focused" would be the reverse of that -- it can also be a dominant act to want to care for a sub. I'm more in the latter camp, I want to adore my sub and it's important to me that they are okay with being the object of my affection (and desire).

My ideal dynamic:

The most important thing I crave in a dynamic is being able to feel like I'm taking care of my sub in some manner. I love providing pleasure and making them feel 'safe'.

I'm also looking for a mostly bedroom-only dynamic. I don't mind having a couple of general rules if that's something my partner is interested in but I don't think the 24/7 high protocol life is for me. I want my partner to still feel like an equal outside of kink but I would consider a "mild" form of an FLR if that is something my partner wanted.

My ideal dynamic would involve a lot of mutual reassurance and communication. I would love to be with someone I feel safe exploring with, someone that makes it easy to just be myself and where I don't have to worry about not meeting their expectations. I also want to hear my partner's thoughts about everything, they need to let me know what they like/dislike and generally have an open communication style.

I also like it when my subs show some initiative, especially in the beginning when we're both still trying to figure out the other I think it's so important to know that this is what they want.

Occasional bratting can be fun but more for when the dynamic is actually established. Right in the beginning I think I would lose my confidence as a domme too much if my sub constantly sassed me and I felt I had to always "make" them do things rather than them being excited about obeying me. I'm also more generally interested in obedience, there is something very beautiful about someone giving me this "gift" of their obedience.

Now for some specific insights:

• a dream would be to be able to dress my subs, decide what outfit they'll wear for the day and what clothes to buy when out shopping. For long-distance it would even be fun to receive an "outfit of the day" selfie
• I'm looking for a good boy/girl to shower with attention and take care of (while they are still a mature/capable adult outside of the bedroom)
• I love obedience and "casual" non-sexual submission, especially a sub kneeling before me while I run my fingers through their hair, maybe hand feed them a snack if they get hungry.
• I don't really like gender roles, I think I look "traditionally" feminine and I'm usually attracted to feminine women and masculine men but when it comes to behaviour, I do not like to stick to certain requirements. I like opening doors for my sub but I also love it when they offer me their arm so I can hold it and steer them where I want to go
• I enjoy giving a lot of praise, maybe even in a slightly patronising/condescending way during a scene but I'm not overly fond of degradation. Some slight verbal humiliation would be okay for me but I honestly prefer giving praise.

Kinks

• praise
• pegging/strap on use
• toys
• spanking
• impact play
• fingering
• overstimulation
• edging
• pet names titles
• collars/leashes
• kneeling
• handcuffs/soft bondage
• shibari
• obedience devotion
• shy subs
• body worship (giving)
• (some) service submission
• ...

Limits:

• ABDL, age regression/age play
• sissy, feminization, crossdressing
• watersports, scat, blood
• feederism
• forced bi
• chastity
• degradation (I don't mind making a sub feel embarrassed about something but I prefer praise to insults)
• any fetishes that are based in misogyny, homophobia or racism

If you want to message me:

Please introduce yourself in your opening message. Messages that only contain a "Hi" or a "Are you still looking?" won't receive an answer. I would appreciate actually getting to know you a little in your first message, especially in a "vanilla" context as I'm ideally looking for a romantic partner who happens to be submissive. If you want to talk about your kinky side I would prefer hearing about what submission means to you rather than just a list of kinks.

Thank you for reading!