The astute reader will note that I copied the title from my prior personals post. Much like a large pharmaceutical company maintains its patents through minor tweaks to the underlying medicine, I did something different with this post; I included shirtless but nonnude pictures.

I'm 27 years old and live in the NY/NJ area. I'm a weightlifter with niche interests who works too much. I believe the kids today refer to this as a eccentricitymaxxing hypertrophy-pilled careercel.

Who am I?

I'm a smart, hard-working, kind, loyal, bibliophilic, fitness enthusiast. My interests range from economics memes (seriously) to history to hiking. I love a good movie, especially a horror comedy or revisionist western. I fish (badly). More of a homebody, I think a night in with good company beats a night out every time. Shamefully, I must admit, I secretly enjoy both mountain dew and 90 day fiance. I'm sure that says something about me, but I don't know what. One day, I'd like to go to Alaska and go halibut fishing.

I give decent massages, better conversation (once I warm up to you), and am an excellent cuddler. I cook if asked many many times and I built a computer when I was younger so I'm pretty good at problem solving. I make an tour de force of a reheated chicken noodle soup if I can purchase it from the grocery store, so I'm a great guy to take care of you when you're sick.

I'm Looking for Monogamy

First and foremost, I'm looking for a friend. Any good relationship is built on getting to know the person. I see this progressing as follows: we text first, ask each other questions and have actual conversations, then we go on some cute dates, and then we keep going on cute dates and realize we genuinely care about each other. Nonmongamy isn't for me in real life relationships. Our relationship would generally be egalitarian outside of the bedroom. I think a 24/7 dynamic would be exhausting.

About You

You're the dominant archetype wearing latex who dispenses kink on command and fulfills my fantasies and is totally cool with me ghosting whenever my unresolved psychological issues (that I take no responsibility for) rear their head.

I jest. You're playful, kind, intelligent, caring, and vivacious, with a dark sense of humor. You're able to see nuance and shades of grey. You're willing to look past my anxiety on meeting new people. Between the ages of 21-29 (not a strict requirement on the upper end). Located nearby or travel frequently. Height-weight proportionate. You're willing to verify with a sfw full-body picture after we talk for a few days. I want to respect your privacy, but its so disheartening to find out that you've actually been chatting to some 50 year old dude using the blank profile labelled /u/ manicpixiedommymommyuwu69 who only demanded I send her apple gift cards three times. Or so I have heard.

NSFW

Language is imprecise. I can't tell you how many times I say something like "I like some moderate denial" and one person interprets that as a few days and another says "we'll start at six months." So, I'll describe my general vibe because I think that will be more accurate. Maybe this will be completely unhelpful, but I hope not. I'll include limits below.

Fun, playful, and flirty bullying. Physically sadistic (to some degree). Emotionally not sadistic. Caring. Inventive. Be mean to me, but do it with a warm smile on your face.

I'm into to the usual stuff people on here like: teasing, anal play, body worship, facesitting, orgasm control, bondage, pain etc. I'm not into nonmonogamy, cbt, cross-dressing, bisexual play, anything with age, feces, blood, public stuff.

A final note: I'm not going to respond to blank profiles. I'm not giving you money. I'm not looking for some quick sexting. I can be a horny little shit, but I'm not such a horny little shit that I'm sending /u/[random word]-[random word]-[string of numbers] a bunch of blackmail material.