Hi, thank you for stopping by.

Normally I structure my ads by putting all the potential deal breakers up front, but after feedback that I don't highlight what I can offer a potential Domme enough I'm doing this different. Afterall, I am aiming to please.

What I can offer

As much I think there needs to be mutual compatibility for ongoing connections, first and foremost I want to be pleasing to a potential owner. I don't enjoy topping from the bottom, or the sense that my partner is catering to my whims.

I'd like to be given a pathway to please you. I consider myself raw material that I'm hoping, together, we can find the way to extract the most value for you.

Some ways I think I can be valuable:

• A kinky outlet: Somewhat obvious, but it is a way I can be pleasing. When you're in the mood to be mean and inflict pain and/or humiliation on someone I'm happy to be that person.
• Physical worship: Providing massage, pampering, oral pleasure.
• Chauffeuring: I'm comfortable driving, and happy to provide drop offs and pick-ups. Or picking up things to deliver to you.
• Domestic service: Cleaning, cooking, laundry, gardening, menial labour, simple handyman tasks.
• Technical skills: Professionally I work in technology. I can provide general technical support, and am able to program applications/websites
• Running board games/TTRPGs: This one is going to have more niche appeal. But for those who have a love of board games if you need someone to be Game Master, or to go and read the rules so that you don't have to,  these are particular skills of mine.
• Gaming partner: Playing video games with you of your preference
• Research assistant: If you've got a general question that you want information for I'm happy to go and find it for you.
• Kink guinea pig: If you have something new that you want to try I'm open to it. I've been the first sub for a couple of Dommes and am able to provide technical and emotional feedback. I'm also just not scared off by the idea of experimentation (risk aware, naturally)
• Company/conversationalist: Perhaps this is just a way of saying that I'd like to have some connection beyond a strict power dynamic, but I understand it can be useful to have someone to vent to.

This list is far from exhaustive, the purpose is to show that I'm open to pleasing in many ways. If you have other ideas or desires I'd love to hear about them. I'm very interested in novel and non-traditional ways of expressing D/s dynamics.

Who am I?

I'm J, or Melkorvum.

I've been playing around in kink my entire adult life. I would describe myself as a heavily Dom-leaning switch. That doesn't mean I'm looking to switch with someone. I prefer distinct roles within a dynamic. I'm here as a sub/slave type.

I'm a middle aged guy. Parent to a couple of young boys, happily married and polyamorous. Physically I'm 6ft/183cm, 112kg. My build is stocky. I have a good amount of muscle, but also a bit of a beer gut. I'm working on losing that, down from 120kg so far. I'm Caucasian, clean shaven bald, wear glasses, and have a short dark beard.

I'm decently physically active - I do middle distance running, lift weights, and get out for a bit of golf each week.  So capable enough to do most of what I can imagine being asked of.

In terms of hobbies, I like watching sports (mostly footy), reading fiction, playing video games, playing board games, and playing golf.

Professionally, I work in the tech industry. Most of my history is in corporate environments.

I'm a reflective person, and able to communicate complicated or nuanced concepts effectively.

But honestly, the trump card of what makes me good to spend time with is my sense of humour. I have quick wit and believe any situation is improved with a laugh.

Who am I looking for?

As with the "what can I offer" section, I struggle with writing something that is descriptive without coming across prescriptive. Just take it as a list of my preferences, not my demands.

While I'm open to anyone of legal consenting age, I tend to be most drawn to people around my age. 25 - 45 is pretty ideal.

Similarly, people in a similar living situation are most comfortable. Those with an existing primary/nesting partner and/or children.

Physically, I've got a lot of varying types. I love curves, I love athletic figures. I love tall women, I love short women. You get the idea. Whilst physical attraction certainly helps a kink connection, I want to be very clear. You don't need to look any particular way to be interesting to me.

I like emotionally intelligent and communicative partners. Those who don't take themselves too serious and who are open to growth.

What sort of dynamic am I searching for?

The headline is "ongoing".

Something between regular play partners and TPE. Depending on mutual availability and interest.

Ideally I'd like someone who regularly asserts their dominance over me, in person or apart. And who molds me into the version of myself that most pleases them. But even just someone who I can provide an outlet for their dominant energy, and they can provide me an outlet for submission every now and again is good.

Hopefully we'd enjoy spending time together outside of kink. Romance isn't required

Potential deal breakers

As mentioned, I'm poly. My wife and other partners know I'm here. I'm not looking to replace or impact my existing relationships.

I'm drug and disease free and looking for the same.

Kink list and limits

My likes: Verbal humiliation/degradation, SPH, CBT, Pain, Anal, Watersports, Bondage, Spanking, Bladder control, Enforced exercise, Forced Bi, Supremist beliefs (E.g. Female supremacy - only in the context of consensual kink).

My interests: Chastity, Hypnosis, Sensory deprivation, writing tasks (writeforme.org or linepunishment.com).

My dislikes: Gagging, Semi-public, Roleplay, Chemical play (icy hot, toothpaste), Ice, Urethal play, Hot wax, Edging, Orgasm Denial, Crossdressing, Ruined orgasms.

My limits: Public, Shaving, Fire play, Extreme pain/Permanent damage, Make up, Scat, Messy, Gross, Dancing, Tattoos, Piercings, findom, intox, denial of orgasms with my wife.