As the title unsubtly suggests, even a caveman needs a bonk and dragged back to NOT his cave. By all means feel free to check the rest of my posts to determine my worth. If not, by all means, read on :)

A bit about me, physically, first.

I am 6ft exactly. Black hair down to my shoulder blades. Black bearded. And starting back at the gym for the new years, burly turning muscular. I love to drink protein shakes, eat meat, lift, and get an ego boost from beating my personal bests. So... Caveman right? The real hairy and sweaty kind. The real loud laugh and rubbing my arms kind.

BUT!

Sometimes I want to relax, step away from the confident 'Dom' looking man. I want to be carried away - not physically, although, we can have a laugh if you wish to try. I am 110kgs after all. But I want to be whisked away, romanced, cared for, embraced.

What does that look like?

Well, I have expectations of grandeur; I also believed in romance novels and anime and such. I am a really creative person. I hate just sitting around absorbing ideas and watching the fruition of others's work, I'd rather combine them into my own thing. I have so many creative dreams from at least one mural on the side of a public wall, to fixing up my own burnt out classic chassis I found in a scrapyard some place. I want to write novels and make ASMR. I want to work towards these things. But such work and life-long dedications takes both time and money but worst of all, it gets pretty lonely.

Looking like me, you tend to be sexualised a lot. Feared, respected, desired for strength and power, yes, but sometimes objectified - which is what very little people recognise if not notice. Whenever I've been approached by women it's always, repeat, ALWAYS on the basis of sex or short-term flings. Nothing long lasting, nothing substantial, nothing to come home to. To be clear, that isn't your duty nor anyone's. But you have no idea; one time receiving a 'hey, how's things? how's your project coming along?' saved me from every negative end of every negative spectrum.

What does romance and care look like? Well, everything you interact with me with is done with an undertone or overtone of affection, wisdom, safety, and reassurance. Even go strict with it like scheduling, or even just a conversational check-in. You'd be surprised with just how little men can live with their entire lives, if at all.

But regardless, who am I?

As said, I am a creative. An academic at heart, creativity is my lifeblood. My whole family is filled with lawyers, soldiers, teachers, people that state the status quo in a now morbid and overtly realistic way. While my writing style and reading habits are similar, I still like to create a sort of 'waystation'. I am constantly experiencing and researching escapism and the benefits of just stepping away into a realm where everything unavailable or impossible is present in droves. Resilience. Fortitude. Value systems. Fighting in the midst of losing. Things lost in the pursuit of identity.

I really enjoy writing - as you can tell - if you were to meet me in person, you'll no doubt think that - based on looks as well - I am a very quiet person. I only speak when spoken to and i struggle to be interesting. But my writing is always going to outclass my tongue. And for that I am thankful because I also have a touch of hypergraphia. Always writing or thinking about writing, if I am doing something important and my mind drifts? I'm done for. Productivity be damned. I am also always drawing and getting better by the week. I do 3D modelling on the side and saving up for a proper camera.

The punchline?

Well, I suppose now comes the part where I go with the herd and dictate what I desire and dislike and outright ban.

Here's the thing though. I have no idea. I suppose beginning with my 'vanilla' kinks:

Breeding/pregnancy/birthing; Anal; and Free-Use. But is that any different to the average modern man?

Here're the more unconventional ones I am TRYING to get into:

Intimacy/Romance' Affectionate slow burn/gestures/or even respectful distance in spite of extreme desires; therefore Barely contained obsession/staring/silent examination. And finally, here's the more femdom 'focused' kinks - this one is hard however, since I consider myself relatively new. Only pornography, conversations on reddit, or fantasising through yearning and loneliness.

Gentle/loving/soft femdom Serving - touching, cooking, cleaning, and companionship and even remaining silent (which I kind of love the most if not deep and meaningful conversations). Pegging and bdsm submission (I am new to this side of the D/s scenario, so be aware I may pull back.)

Endgame?

I have no idea. Want to find out? Because I am inexperienced, and I admit that freely, I still recognise a desire to simply be loved rather than always do the loving. I placed my trust too frequently and too deeply to really believe exactly what I want exists. I am always fantasising and I suppose it negatively informs my standards to solidifying but I aim to keep my mind and horizons open.

Please don't be afraid to message at all. I know I wrote a lot but I want people to be clear on who I want to be elsewhere in my life. I am always seen as a monolith of strength, but even then monoliths struggle and crumble. I won't say I want to submit. I suppose I just want to be teased, I want to feel that tingle of attention and a soft hand on my shoulder.