Hello! Thank you for clicking on my ad, which I decided to post if we survived the hurricane! Now that we did, I truly do appreciate you looking at it.

Long story short: I am tired. I want to find a life partner who is kink-compatible. Thus, time to throw another ad up and see if I can find my future partner through a Reddit personals…because why not? We can claim that we met on a dating app like most people do. It’s a long shot, but it never hurts to try.

Please disregard my previous ads from numerous years ago, some of my tastes have changed.

Absolute Non-Negotiable Vanilla Requirements:

• 23 to 38 years of age as of you contacting me. Not interested in older or younger than this range.

• College-educated. A graduate or professional degree is a major plus, but not required. Please either be in graduate school, actively looking for a job, or employed.

• Familiarity and comfort with long distance relationships. I will be stationary in the Florida Panhandle for the next two years for graduate school, but I travel extensively in my professional field. While I love it when you can come crash at my hotel, I understand that this isn’t always feasible.

• Emotional availability combined with a desire and readiness to be monogamous and (eventually) married. I want to work (at a very appropriate speed of course!) towards a life with you and set a longterm plan in place once we decide to seriously commit. Until then, I want to build a deep trust and friendship with you. Some discretion is required at first, of course, given the circumstances and obvious location of this ad, but I expect transparency and verification of your identity once we hit it off. If you have any specific questions in regards to this, please include it in your response!

• Time for our relationship. The ability to work around your other personal commitments is invaluable. If this becomes an issue, bring this up! If it can’t be worked around, we shall part affectionately.

• Good listener.

• Mature communication skills.

• Liberal.

• Queer or an enthusiastic ally. I’m demi-pansexual myself.

• Good hygiene. I love picking out scents for my partner, so it’s another bonus if you enjoy a little cologne on occasion.

• Clean-shaven. I unfortunately have a sensory sensitivity to facial hair and I like kissing. Hair elsewhere is a-okay.

• Altruistic and kind.

• Non-smoker. Some ganja is fine on occasion, but no tobacco.

• I like just about all heights (from hobbit to giant!) and body types. All I ask is that you are fit enough to go on long hikes and other somewhat physically-demanding adventures! I want to do some big hiking adventures in the future, and it would be fun to do it with you. If I like your appearance, I like your appearance.

*Huge Vanilla Bonuses *

• A cute face!

• A little nerdy!

• Decent social skills!

• Interest in theatre, traveling, science, history, books, storytelling, and/or movies! Few things beat a planetarium.

• Well-dressed and some pride in your appearance.

• Is timely.

• Enjoys celebrations! I love holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, and other similar occasions.

• Can cook! :) I like tasty food.

• Good relationships with your family and friends.

Huge Kinky Bonuses:

• Experience as and strong preference to sub. I dislike training new subs at this stage and refuse to be used as a kink dispenser or as a curiosity. That being said, I’m a bit rusty so some patience will be requested as I learn and re-learn!

• A fantastic ass that deserves to get used and that you enjoy using! I love pegging and just looking at butts, I ain’t gonna lie.

• Mild pain kink. Not a requirement, but I like to bite. :)

• Rope bunny and some flexibility! I want to learn more ties, but have had trouble finding someone who has the time and ability to do them.

• Praise kink! Let me shower you with praise! Be emotionally vulnerable with me, tell me what’s on your mind, tell me you miss and want me. All those good things.

• Confidently know what you want, but also enjoy following orders, including sensual ones.

• Service submission!

• Catboy? :D

• I would love to collar you eventually.

Hard Limits:

• Sissification for Men. Some feminization is all good by me—I love knee socks and nice lingerie, for example. Crossdressing is negotiable, but the sissy stereotype is a no-go for me.

• Diapers and age play.

• Anything having to with bodily fluids or illegal subjects.

What you’ll be getting from me:

• Cute, intelligent, and nerdy woman with many, many interests and ambitions who also happens to be a domme. I definitely have some service top qualities too. :) For the sake of this ad’s length, I’m happy to answer questions that you may ask in your response.

• I love to spoil in the little ways and plan trips with you. The love languages that I respond best to are quality time and acts of service (with words of affirmation coming in closely after).

And that’s it! If my ad stood out to you, please send me a response detailing how you fit my specifications. To know you’ve read the entirety of my ad, please creatively add the word “terrapin” somewhere in your response. Thank you for taking the time to read my ad, and I sincerely hope to hear from you!! Please note that I often get quite a few responses, so my response may take a few days.