This personal will consist of an assortment of facts about myself:

I once went shopping at Target. I missed. (This is my shopping joke. It is very funny.)

• I am actually brand new to this and will be like clay in your hands. Hopefully that's an exciting prospect. I know I am highly affectionate and devoted to those who earn my respect, and I yearn to find someone to give my deference, obedience and respect. I am eager to give my trust and faith. I just need there to be a genuine connection.

• So, here's what's up #1 - Myself and my current submissive were bold one night and went to a BDSM club. One of the head-kinksters of the club recognized us wandering around like lost sheep and invited us over to the merch/whip/sadistic-implement (mostly the latter two) table, and proceeded to chat us up, make us feel welcome and even gave us a free paddle to take home with us (highly recommend the Baltimore Playhouse). One of the things he said was one of the most important things which allowed him to become a great Dom and partner in the dynamic was finding and submitting to a domme. This has stuck with us.

• I write words for a living. Like these! Except they're usually about new businesses and education policy and not about finding a Mistress to dominate me. Couldn't get that past my editor.

• I once, as a young child, went on a very important quest in my hometown supermarket to find the blue raspberry which is where I discovered that blue raspberry is just a flavor invented by candy companies and everything I had known is a lie. I did manage to get over this, with a lot of hard work in therapy, last Tuesday.

• One time I went bigfoot hunting in the Colorado Rockies with a bigfoot enthusiast, and we found the sasquatch! Turns out he's just an old Grateful Dead fan who did too much LSD on the road and fell into a vat of Rogaine.

• Here's what's up #2 - Alright, everyone huddle up. We're going to get personal here. Once upon a time I was very depressed and for all but a year and a half of my 20s, I never minded the future because I was convinced I wouldn't be having one. But now I do! It's weird. I'm getting used to it. Slowly. A little nerve-wracking. High pressure. Big stakes. All that. There's growth I need to do. Discipline I need to develop. I need to eat a lot healthier (and cheaper), I need to budget, I need to fucking start saving for retirement cause I am late (quite late) doing that. I need to start running consistently. I need to cool it a little with the cannabis. I need to have some personal writing projects, that, who knows, might turn into a meaningful second income some day. I need to serve my community more. I need to save enough money to quit my job and hike the Appalachian trail...whenever that is the responsible thing to do.

• It's entirely up to you how much control you want to take. It's important this feels equitable, sustainable and doable to you, but, I will let you write my grocery lists. I will let you control my spending. I will learn how to juggle while hopping on one foot while singing Hot To Go. I'm ready to commit and find the dynamic that works for us and with you. It is important to me I make this meaningful and worthwhile for you.

• I am very into verbal humiliation and degradation, orgasm control and joi, begging, bondage and honorifics. Likely have other kinks, there is much to be discovered.

• I am proudly progressive, largely due to this funny belief that if we have enough food, everyone should be fed, if we have enough shelter, everyone should have a home, and if we have the resources and capabilities, everyone should receive healthcare. I understand this is deeply unAmerican and I will pray to Ronald Reagan for forgiveness.

(Might be hard to reach him down in hell though.)

• I once went hunting on a golf course. Shot a Birdie. (This is my sports joke. It is also very funny.)