Hello there!

Instead of a normal ad, today I’ve decided to run a nice list setup, because who doesn’t like lists? Hell, I’ll even throw in pros and cons for free! No real idea where this is going, let’s find out together whether that makes for a good personals post, shall we? Onward!

About Me

Pros:

• Looking for a genuine D/s setup. I don’t ghost people, I don’t scam people, I don’t share people’s stuff, none of that. Currency return guarantee! Of course, that’s an easy claim to make, so let me immediately follow up with:

• Happy to verify! Well, happy is maybe a strong word, as I’m not awfully into producing awkward pictures of myself, but, when in doubt, I’m able and willing to provide proof that I am who I claim to be.

• I will, in fact, remain in contact with you post-orgasm. Which I hear is a common complaint. But I, for one, have little interest in keeping this search up forever, so sticking around strikes me as much wiser :P

• I’m very honest and open. I hope this very ad demonstrates that to some extent!

• I’m frequently told that I’m funny, though, it turns out, lists are not the ideal medium for demonstrating that, lol.

• I am, in principle, capable and willing to share any type of media I’m capable of producing, including full nudes with face and what have you. Additionally, I’m not too bothered about such things being an unfair exchange. In other words, if that’s something you want, but feel less able to share, that’s mostly fine with me. Obviously, though, certain common sense restrictions apply.

• Speaking of nude pictures and common sense, there won’t be any unsolicited dick pics. Which, apparently, is worth bonus points in this timeline. Thanks guys, I’ll take them! Easiest bonus point of my life, too.

• I’m not very picky about looks, ethnicity, age, experience level and all that, I’m perfectly happy to play with a total beginner or a veteran, if we mesh, we mesh. If we don’t, we don’t. Having said that, I’m afraid I remain very far down the straight side of the spectrum, so any trans things remain iffy to me, attraction wise.

• I clear the magical 180cm / 6 feet (which is totally not the same, by the way) mark, for anyone who cares about such random things. This is because I’m 183cm tall, so… do with that what you will.

• I strongly prefer a long term setup, which you probably already deduced.

Cons:

• I have fairly poor mental health. Lots of things in the works on that front, and progress is being made. It shouldn’t affect you very often, but I can be a bit of a downer at times.

• In related news: The default assumption should be that this would be entirely online. Of course, if we mesh really well and things develop, we can revisit that claim. But if your first message to me would likely read something like “I happen to be in Germany soon, wanna fuck?”, then… you know, assume that’s not going to happen.

• Now, here comes the real downside to all the nifty perks above: I’m not the handsome, muscled guy of your dreams. I’m a ~34 BMI white dude with little of that being muscle. I’m sorry ladies, I’m afraid that’s the price you pay for all the “not gonna ghost you” perks. I don’t make the rules! Also: Something something working on it, something something totally gonna be different one day. Yup yup. Maybe. Either way, it would take a while, so assume that’s the state of things.

• Nowhere near blessed enough to interest any size queen ever, so… I guess this is where those may leave, see ya around!

• I’m not very extreme. I mean, compared to your average vanilla person, I certainly am. But compared to some people in these parts, I’m relatively straight forward. In the past, posting lists of kinks hasn’t proven very useful, so I’m afraid you’ll just have to ask! But it’s not going to be very heavy on the leather and the whips, if you know what I mean!

• While I’m very open, honest and pretty straight forward, I often struggle with being very forthcoming. As such, you should be able to poke the info out of me occasionally, because otherwise it might now come out :P

• I strongly prefer a monogamous setup, for all but the most casual interactions. Why is that a con? I don’t know! But apparently monogamy is not nearly as common around these parts as it is in vanilla life. So… there you go.

• I’m very communicative and strongly prefer a similar style in a partner. I don’t mesh well, at all, with people who answer back in half finished, singular sentences when I wrote a paragraph. Unfortunately for me, that kills 80% of candidates right there, for some reason I will never understand :(

That ought to be enough, already a lot longer than I planned on. Whoops! Finally, a few things about YOU. As I said, I don’t care about experience, looks, age and such very much, but there are things that I do care a lot about. Let’s make one final list, shall we?

• Willingness to communicate. Note how I didn’t say “ability”. If you’re 22 and still in the middle of figuring out your own head, rendering you incapable of communicating clearly then, well, I think most of us understand and that’s fine. I don’t necessarily need you to be good at communicating, but I need you to be committed to trying. Fumbling around for 5 sentences, trying to convey a feeling is fine, answering a paragraph with a bored “ok” is very much not. If I get the feeling you aren’t trying, things will end very quickly, I’m afraid.

• Don’t be too far into the extremes of things. If you’re the walking stereotype of whips and leather, we’re not going to work. Neither are we going to work if you are the overly out there “mommy” type that forgot that there is supposed to be a dominance thing happening. Somewhere in the middle there and we can probably make it work.

• Lastly, I want to specifically call out degradation and humiliation. If you’re really into those, we’re probably not a good match. I’m more than happy to try my very best on the obedience front, but I’m not very highly motivated by insults or belittling. However, if you tell me that me following that order would make you happy/horny/entertained, then we’re talking. But if you go off on a rant about how worthless I am and how I gotta do this thing now… frankly, I’m just gonna be really, really annoyed and cringed into another universe, it’s just really not my thing.

Alright, I think that’s more or less it. Let me know if I forgot something important. Or, you know, while you’re at it, just introduce yourself and let’s make something neat happen, why not?