A little about me, I'm intelligent, easy-going, and a little quirky. I spend my days pretending to be a sensible professional. I am sarcastic, but thankfully for everybody else, I sometimes stumble onto being witty. My likes include running, writing, reading, movies, typing in third person, tearing apart hoards of zombies, going down waterfalls in a barrel, going up waterfalls in a barrel (infinitely harder), stealing candy from children, stealing drugs from old people, kissing random frogs just in case I end up rescuing a prince, medieval jousting, eating Chinese food, eating anything other than Chinese food, chainsaw juggling, drinking cherry Pepsi, and really odd kinks which cause me to register onto shady forums like r/FemdomPersonals.

So, what exactly am I doing here?

Well, I suppose I should be organized about it -

A) the first thing I need is a really great friend. Let’s make fun of 50 Shades together, contemplate the mysteries of the universe, and complain about parking tickets. You know, friend stuff.

B) That said, I just want to be a sex toy you pull off the shelf when you feel like a tormenting some poor boy to get off.

C) I don’t get to orgasm without your permission. Or even touch myself. Ever.

D) I have a huge audio kink. So i’d want to use voice chat. So, whenever you want, you’d voice call me, take me down a few pegs, and then make me listen to you orgasm over and over again while edging and denying me.

E) But, really, I really need to hear your voice and to hear you moan. That will make this for me.

F) I just ask that it happens somewhat regularly, that you allow me to cum sometimes, and that sometimes you’ll make me cum a lot. But if you just want to deny me most of the time, well, I’m just going to be helpless.

G) I don’t need you to have any kind of experience. I’m almost entirely in this for orgasm control, degradation and name calling but if you’re into something else bring it up, we’ll negotiate.

So, anyway, um - who wants to share silly memes back and forth in between sessions of turning me into a moaning, desperate puddle?