In general, I'm a fan of traditional masculinity.... I mean I grew up on that narrative. Disney brainwashed me to believe that I would meet my Prince someday and he'd slide a glass slipper on my foot. However, as I get older, that image of a masculine man, kneeling, is still something that gets me excited. But what comes next isn't in the Disney version... except for the part where I become a Queen :)

Before I get into more of myself that's a little taboo, let me take a step back into who I am in my day to day life. I'm a 36F, no kids, never married, 5'5, thick body type and I live in OC (Garden Grove, CA) working as a recruiter. I really enjoy my time alone and independence. As an ENTP (extroverted, intuitive, thoughtful, perceptive) I'm a big talker and philosoper. I enjoy learning about people and connecting with them above surface level. My hobbies include fitness (lifting/yoga), reading/writing, live music, outdoor activities and cooking. My current favorite song is "Moonlight" by Kali Uchis. There's a pic on my page but here's a verification.

Dating only in the "bdsm world" hasn't quite worked out in the past because there's so much shame about kink that it's impossible to have a real relationship. Not to mention how many people want the kink part but refuse to invest emotionally. In the end, I do want something with some substance so I'm open to dating men who aren't necessarily submissive, but who do embrace a woman on the kinky & dominant side of the spectrum. The biggest misconception is that you have to be weak, meek or some other negative construct to want to date a dominant woman and that's just not the case. I value your strength, masculinity and intelligence. That's what makes the dynamic so exciting! I want you as my equal. I didn't get excited about femdom because I hated or wanted to punish men, I loved it because it allowed me to feel more confident and embrace all aspects of myself as a woman.

Another label I enjoy is a Primal - which is simply allowing your visceral and animalistic desires to come to the surface.

I remember the first time I was genuinely excited watching a primal scene... it was while watching the Korean film THIRST. There's a scene in it where the main character, a priest turned vampire, struggles with his blood lust for a woman. He stalks her and eventually takes her captive and in a moment of unraveling, he allows all of the desires he's had for her to come to the surface. Tossing her around like a ragdoll, kissing her and even lifting up her armpit to lick it. It was so strange... but so arousing. Just feeling his deep desire and passion through the screen, it absolutely resonated with the type of scene I would want to experience someday. The other side of that is acknowledging I wasn't the "flimsy woman being tossed around" - I was the ravenous vampire.

After 3 years in this lifestyle, I've had a lot of unique/niche experiences. I'm a little tired of that. I want to connect with someone passionate about their life, ambitious, open minded and open hearted, who wants to connect above surface level and who isn't just looking for NSA or FWB. Because I'm a female dominant in the bdsm world, I get messages daily from men who want a kink dispenser. My ability to engage with someone on a sexual and kink level is only possible once I have an emotional connection.

It's difficult for me to show you all of me at the start. I'm a slow burn who plays her cards close to her chest. You will never see the kink side of me until I feel comfortable. That being said, the kink side of me is very much into orgasm control, MESM, bondage, role play, impact play, deification (being worshipped as a Goddess), and so much more... The vanilla side of me has to feel connected before I can show you the other side of me.

My ideal partner is:

• Male, /- 7 years my age
• Lives within commuting distance (50 miles max)
• Emotionally available, mature, stable and single
• Self aware and connected to their sexual identity
• Passionate, sex positive and kink positive
• Loves strong women who are aggressive, speak their mind & assertive
• Looking for a relationship

Thanks for reading my novel! If you think we might be a good fit, shoot me a chat message telling me all about vanilla you, SFW pic, where you're located in SoCal and your current favorite song.